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Monday, October 24, 2005

today was a BAD horrible, disgusting, n juz not my day. had to do ppl's interview n cny rehearsal n supposed to do psl rehearsal. but didnt go for psl cos had to choose the confirmed new batch of psls.. was a really mentally exhausting exercise. me,mazmo n carrot nearly died choosing the psls,esp. d sec 1s! -ahha, i wonder y

anyway, im very disappointed todae. cos someone whom i really give much respect to juz disappointed me with their action. it's really heartbreaking when one whom u look up to juz disappoint u with their tactless behavior. i cant stand it. im soo freaking pissed off. in front of a lot of ppl, i got humiliated. i was embarassed, *tooting* arse. hrmPH. ive finally seen d light and d ugly side of u. im soo thankful tt god has shown me ur U-G-L-Y n d monster u are, earlier so tt i wont be disappointed later on. sigh..i wonder how n why ive offended you tt uve got to write it in black n white. i didnt mind ur doin so until u treated me like dirt shortly after ive coooled myself down,reassuring tt there's a reason behind everythg.

im not one of those who jump to conclusions very easily, im reasonable enough to analyse d situation ok.. but i thk ur too much lately. u said i shd take abreak this year frm track so tt i can recover. thus tt is y i get more involved in my ldrship duties so as to compensate watever ive always missed. but hell no, u thk tt im wasting my time, thk tt i could have gone far for track thk ive got d potential.
MY FOOT. all d while ive gone for trainings i couldnt participate cos i was injured n u dun give a *toot* damn. u dun seem to realise how much effort ive put in. do u even noe tt for watever trgs ive missed i actually self-trained? do u? of course u dun, u dun even care, ur blinded by ur own goals, ur own targets, ur own life. arghh..i dunno y im wasting my time getting angry over this. im juz very disappointed i guess tt u actually are cruel to make me go thru this.

ive recovered n i wan to start afresh for track. but ur not even giving me a chance to do so! ur attitude juz stinks,it turns me off. its true wat ps says. hrmph. tt's y i prefer to train by myself, without any1's company. cos i get to relax more n not see d diff attitudes of ppl. it juz test my patience.u may thk im always ok with everythg cos im not petty watsoever but then again there are things wat u call as LIMITS.

i dun care about u. i wun even care of ur attitude towards me,i shall be heartless n emotionless in front of u though ill still respect u for who u are.im gonna train hard for track,im gonna make sure i get my pb. u thking tt i cant make make me more determined to prove u wrong. u thk ur discouraging me but somehow d will for me to achieve my goal is now greater. ahh.. im gonna prove to u tt i can juggle between my studies, track n ldrship responsibilities. i'll make sure tt happens, n its not empty talk. i'll work towards tt, not to only prove u wrong, but to show tt i am capable of doin so.

the greatest enemy is within urself.
the race is not against others, but against time. - SPRINT

reminiscing
9:45 PM <3

(: