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Sunday, July 10, 2005

Reflections gg on: reflecting on the mirror ...lol

kfd is finally over.somewhat relieved but also sadd? i dunno,having mixed feelings bout it. anyway,bet lotsa ppl must be asking?how was it n all? in my opinion,i thk it was screwed up. no,im not bein hard on myself,(ok mayb i am) but its really bad :( the turn out was 60+ old folks & cope helpers. frankly,the one tt became fittest was me!lol..cos i was running from place to place.okok..i ran round the whole sch the whole time(i dun see e use of a walkie talkie cos mine was a lil unreliable n faulty?)

kfd was disorganised.fullstop.got no one to blame but myself. seriously,i juz sucked at all this. first was orientation,then oac then keep fit dae. what else can i screw up?i'm so sorry to all that had confidence in me to organise the games n activities.im sorry for screwing up. argh..im so angry w myself. i noe tchr r disappointed with us. sorry for tat too.

it wwent ok w e lunch with e tchrs & 1st ics. i was trying to relax i guess. then excused myself to the prep of all the stuff. a lot of e arrows had chi grammatical or watever errors.how e heck wld i noe?im not a chi.n marble in mly is guli! ahha...not goli!goli is old malay..see,my malay isnt tt bad.=) then i told them to come back @ 1.35 for briefing but everyone was bz n forgot or worst in e 1st place,not listening or cant be bothered.i wasnt pissed cos i noe everyone was bz helping each other out.so i told them, meet @ 3.20.

again,nobody came n most of them were at god knows where?(i dun even care),waited for 10min for them to come. then was juz about to give fast briefing BuT the guest already came. wonderful~ so told them to come down. drinks not even ready @ stations,some ppl somehow say they didnt rcvd e email bla bla thus dunno their duties. sorry,i'm not bein sympathetic here but cant u thk one step further n ask ur friends to check for u?i cant possibly tell u personally what ur duty is,n again,u r leaders,u shd have e initiative.i've got other things to do. i had also print out one copy & some 1st ics have also printed out e copy. n i put it @ e table for them to refer. did anyone check?not many..i'm proud of those who have done that,thank you guys for taking e initiative.

Then e best part, after I set up the games, some ppl r juz soo nice to play with them n making things messy. grrr..then i told them nicely to put back properly,but it was different frm original setting. *claps claps* yay! like i needed tt.hmm..mayb i was bein too nice.like its true tt when ur nice,ppl tend to step over ur head.. but if i'm too firm,ppl mayb juz hate it..but again,they're my juniors.i dun want them to think of me as e strict gurl or sth.

then in e end ,many either forgot or dunno their duties. but e gd thing is,they automatically juz chose a station. gd job guys! sorry again i was disorganised.

i didnt enter e sports hall for e opening cos wanted to check all stations were ok n ready.luckily they were.*phew* gotta thank e ldrs again! yea...then i found out many of those helping were always in cliques n kinda slacking..tt got me disappointed of course.

after tt,some stations were not even visited by old folks,mayb cos e no was too small.i wasnt very sad bout it,but i was kinda sorry to those who volunteered to help.so guilty. but then again ,as long as old folks were happy n enjoyed themselves i'm ok! :D karaoke was most visited,happy with e response :) but i dunno,seeing all these all folks lead me thinking of my late grandma. if only she's alive,n get to come for this event, will i get to her her laughter?or even get to see her smile?(cos my grandma had stroke on her left side of body n bed-ridden.) so while patrolling ard,i was trying to control my emotions & all from thking of such stuff.the event was finally over n i didnt get to see the closing too.ahha..cos i had to look for a missing handbag. so ran ard e sch 2-3 times looking for it. n guess wat?it was found already -_-"".ahha..like i mentioned again,i thk i became fittest tt dae for running ard. ahha..

then we had debrief...by all 1st ics then tchrs... i wasnt prepared for it cos i was bz again looking for __.i juz came to sports hall & heard sy debriefing for a few lines then it was my turn.uh oh~ ahha...i was still panting frm running..n i had to debrief. ahha...ok..u may thk debrief is easy for me from listening to me @ oac,but it was hard ok. i didnt even plan wat to say. was trying to control my emotions,was thinking of +ve n -ve stuff to say. ermm... so sorry of i sounded like i was debriefing during oac.i didnt rite?did i? well..i thk i didnt..ahha..but i thk i was stating lotsa -ve pts.i dunno y..i juz feel that that i gotta point out e mistakes instead of juz singing praises,cos if i do that,tt will be lying. hehe..n u noe im very frank n all..so sorry i sounded like i was scolding..

tchrs debrief was sth i always somewhat want but dun wanna listen to. ahha..but from listennign to them talking,u somehow reflect upon urself.their debrief made me thk tt i was a failure..but then again i must thk +ve n learn frm it. i was like stonning,thinking bout e mistakes i did wrong n all. ahha..bet many didnt noe i was sad n disappointed other than orange lurver! ahha..tt's bout it i guess..

thanks to all for helping me in a way or another.n sorry of i was bitchied n offended whoever it is. :)

reminiscing
12:31 PM <3

(: