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havent updated for soooooooooooooo long! 1)cos my com has no more of hope in saving it(using e sch's rite now while researching stuff,multi-task =P). 2) been bz lately. hmm.... lots of things have been happening lately. things that totally changed my life. i still cant get myself to believe tt she's gone. sometimes when i reach hm i still go to my grandma's thinking she's still there. i cant bring myself to face up to e reality that she juz passed away. .
there,i said it. god... it still sounded so weird. i still miss her soo much. miss her presence.basically, miss her on e whole. she was a part of me,a part of my life n now she's gone?i still can't accept it. cant accept tt she can juz went so suddenly. though last time when she was still alive, i was preparing myself mentally, asking myself how i would react to her death. but now, it's a different thing. it juz happened. cant believe she was gone like on 23/04/05. like as though she chose tt special date 2345. i can still remember everything tt happened on tt day vividly.
i rmb tt dae i had duty fo r meet e parents for sec2s. but suprisingly tt dae,after e whole event,i went hm straight n didnt eat lunch outside. as though i could sense tt it was gg to happen. i went hm without any feeling or watever for wat was about to happen. i bought some ice blended mango cos e weather was bloody hot n i was seriously melting. then as usual routine i went to her rm to greet her n kissed her cheeks. weird...now then i noticed a few days b4 her death, whenever i told her tti was gg somewhere, she'd hug me tightly n never wanting to let go,till i have to put her arm loose of i'll juz suffocate. as though she knew it was coming. then like my aunt said, she kept saying she wanted to go hm,though she noes she's at hm. we were thinking tt hm might be back frm where she came frm? i dun noe. mayb. those were e signs tt me n my fam didnt really notice. anyway,i greetede her n gave some of my drink(iceblended) for her to drink cos she was screaming away asking for water. knowing she likes cold drinks,i offered some of my drink to her.she didnt want to stop drinking, mayb she knew it was gonna be her last drink. then after tt i had to take e drink away frm her cos%
reminiscing
3:48 PM <3
(:
