Sunday, April 17, 2005
| been a while since i've updated... lots of things have been happening. some things that happen too quickly,sometimes ur not even aware of it. been bz with common tests, class tests n sch stuff n trg. involved in many things that sometimes i dunno which to go for. *sigh* my time management juz sucks. i shd really make a timetable for myself. i'm soooo tired...so tired of things. so tired of some stuff tt have been happenin. y do ppl think tt i'm always ok with everything? they nvr seek my opinion watsoever.. they juz assumed...ya ya.. DUN ASSUME! lol.. quote unquote x) but seriously, doesnt mean i'm willing to do things means i'm happy bout it. pls dun be such selfish morons ok. it's juz tt im too nice to decline or cant be bothered anymore to argue. i'm human too..i have my own opinions, my own decisions, my own life. geez...i'm losing touch i guess.. heh.. been quite moody i guess...hrmph...i have to stop this unhappiness in me.. *sigh* i cant stand it. y must we have things such as tests? i dun mind having them if i get satisfactory marks . but e thing is, i juz cant seem to do well... im sick of it...in class i can do work but when it comes to exams or tests, i juz screw up. it's really depressing when u put ur whole effort in preparation for it but e end result is juz disappointing. its more depressing when u see everyone doin well..even those who dun pay attention in class n dun do their work. seriously, sometimes i really wonder, wat do i lack? is e structure of my brain diff frm theirs? goodness,i'm asking silly qns. i'm so tired rite now..i nd a break...i long break from all this things.. away frm tests ,tests n more tests. also away from civilisation. lol. so tt i dun have to face e different sorts if ppl, so tt i dun have to bother bout them. lol.. geez..now i sound selfish *slaps myself* hrmph...how i sometimes wish i can juz pour my heart out to e ppl who's making my life like this. e thing is i cant. i'm juz so afraid i'll hurt their feelings.. hmm..i'm juz waiting for e volcano in me to erupt..lol..or when e ritcher scale in me reaches 8.5 n above, i will juz be tactless n say my opinion. hope tt doesnt happen..cos i can be a real bitch when im really angry. now..i juz nd to be more patient..juz wat i nd... "patience is a virtue"<---i hope its true i'm sick of waiting, waiting for my injury to heal... mayb my injury is one of e reasons of me being cranky.i dunno y..but i cant seem to wait for it to heal.. i'm so sick of doin diff schedule frm e rest, lyk as though i less capable or handicapped. ive got to admit i'm not very patient. tt's y im training nearly everyday, to make up for watever i've missed. hmm..but then again..im very tired rite now...im not recovering in time for e next training..mayb i shd stop my self- trainin for a while. but then now,when i'm not involved in competitions n not in sch team i feel so empty inside. i dun see a purpose in me training.feel sth missing in my life.. *sobs* i miss track.i miss e thrills in competitions. n it really got depressing when i did cip for SPH relays, when i saw e sch team ran for the sch. sighs..i cant do much for now..juz hope i'll recover real soon.. i'll juz keep training hard cos lyk t n ppf says "i can make a comeback next year". well...i hope tt's true. hope tt will happen. -got to be patient- |
reminiscing
11:48 AM <3