im in one of the lowest point in my life rite now, don't know why. tapestry '07 just ended & i'm already missing the whole committee & even the performers & volunteers. Two days of blast & fun & sweat.. missing them all, it's like having that purpose in life. didn't go to school todae, a little sick & have no voice from being a passive smoker & having to scream to talk to ppl over the loud music. i'm really thankful for being given the chance to organise such a huge event , though only orchard area, it's a real eye opener to a 17year old like me. but all this joy of organising has left me thinking abt life, school & the purpose of it.

I'm too tied down to many commitments, sch, track, council, h5, exco. i'm drained out. give me time out ,please. i'm just so afraid rite now, i feel like curling up at one corner & shut myself away from all these responsiblities. Im afraid i'll retain. fark, that'll be the worse nightmare. im loathing school just thinking abt it. seeing all the bands play their instruments & seeing the joy in their faces makes me think about how the simple things in life can make you happy. the chase for higher positions & more salary is killing many ppl, bit by bit. Pursuing As in school is doing just that to many of us, the expectations i have of myself is stressing me out. how ironic. anyway, i've been listening to red jumpsuit apparatus -your guardian angel repeatedly. that song was the last few songs played by delirious static, before tapestry ended. one of my favourite songs ..& it's making me emo.

i need my knight in shining armour..where art thou?

Artist: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Album: Don't You Fake It
Year: 2006Title: Your Guardian Angel


When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm strong
I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you
I'll be the one


I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away[Your Guardian Angel Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com]
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven[to fade]

reminiscing
8:38 PM <3

(:

reminiscing
9:49 PM <3

(:

extracted this from nada's blog..but i was lazy to update loong ago.. another coach that rocks :D

"so after we finished the schedule, coach talked a lot to us three about training, school and life. it was a pretty motivating cus it made us wake up to lotsa things around us. i think he's like the most understanding coach around. he's different from the rest in the way he perceives things, but that's a good thing. mr tang doesn't train us just so that we can be national runners. what's more important to him is for us to be the best we can be, be it a "school runner, nationals' finalist, nationals' champ or national runner". and he also told us that in life, it's every man for himself. no one's gonna stop to take pity on us when we fail. we gotta stand up for ourselves, do what's right for ourselves. after that talk, malina, eecha and i decided that we were gonna listen to mr tang and so, after nationals, we're gonna meet up early before every trg and squeeze in some hours of studying. and we're gonna put our best efforts in trainings, no matter how tired we are. sub 13 nationals' finalists next year yo. work hard, we will. and to malina and eecha, we're gonna work hard babes. like really hard. we'll push ourselves to be the best we can be, in our studies and on the track. LOVE YA, BABES! ((: "

how motivating :) i'm loving track! :D

reminiscing
1:20 AM <3

(:

5th july

Had my first national track & field meet after 2 years of mia from it. urghh..it was freaking screwed up, cos I know I wasn't prepared for it at all,like who can be on form after training for 3 months? haha, joke of the century. I totally embarrassed myself on the track.Can say it was about my personal worst.Ironic, when i aimed for a pb instead. Felt rather fucked up after the race, suddenly felt emotional. All kind of nonsense went through my head. the long list of what ifs came with no valid answers,& made me feel even more miserable. then ,i saw farmer coach, the first track coach that left a lasting impact in my life. omg, he rocks big time. This was how it went :

me: Hey Coach!
coach:hey malina! how's life?
me:coach! i missed you so much! I see u i feel like crying...
coach: how are you? how's track?
me: starts crying..+_+

wtf.. kinda stupid conversation.. haha, but I let go of all my frustrations in front of my coach & his athletes.how embarrassing. Guess it's an old habit ..used to share my views with my coach last time. He was really nice abt it, encouraged me to continue training hard for next year & to talk care.Didn't get to talk much though, cos some teacher interrupted the conversation & i had to leave anyway. haha, kind old coach gave me a hug before i left. geez, i felt soo much better after crying. maybe what i needed was just a pep talk & some one to talk to.not just anyone to talk to, some one more senior & knows about track inside out.

6th July
GUESS WHAT! I got into semifinals, even greater joke of the century. With a screwed up timing like mine, i can get qualified for semis, & it wasn't even my best for the year. i was last qualifier, but heck? It was my aim to get into semis anyway. lol.Came to stadium late & that set me panicking. Was already focused on doing a better run than heats. (duh..who wouldn't want that?) anyway, i thought my starts was much better than the day before,cos i was more conscious of my run & my surrounding & at least remembered how to run! haha, funny as it may seem but u can actually forget how to run! I managed to maintain with the rest till 40m then i dieded after that. like hello, it IS a 100m race after all! haha.. who cares about whether i was doing alright for my first 40m? but here's the irony, i thought i did much better than the previous run & I felt good after that. BUT my timing was 0.2 slower than the previous day's timing! WTF. quite disappointed about that, cos i really thought i did a better run than the previous day. but maybe i did better in terms of techniques instead of sprinting. maybe.. but well..at least i know i did a better starts than previous day..that's wat matters for now.:D

7th July
ITS LIVE EARTH DAY! haha,was super super busy today, quite tired cos I had to catch up with all the different meetings i missed cos of track training. Had to sit in 3 different meetings consecutively. Campteen exco. SC event comm. Teacher's day comm. sheesh, i think i can go nuts the next 3 weeks handling 3 different events. & tapestry is the major event of course! all publicity stuff i've gotta do. WHY! so sian of doing poublicity when i'm not even pro at it. but well, learn from experience. i'm feeling sleepy now.. shall sleep in till tmr afternoon.WHEE~

reminiscing
12:32 AM <3

(: