I really do not know if it's me or is the time really going too fast? Soon , CNY is coming & i really can't wait to get a BREAK from all this hectic & crazy schedule, of which most of the teenagers would call SCHOOL!

Break is what I need & time is what I lack. hAH. How Ironic. Anyway, the hectic schedule that i am trying to working out isn't going too well. Goodness, I am soo sick of being torn apart between 2-3 commitments. What's worse is if I do not go for one thing, one party will be unhappy & there goes the procedure & favourite past time of gossiping & talking behind my back. & if i leave halfway from one place to another, i'll most probably miss out a lot. well..i'm trying to get "the best of both worlds". Do not ask me what worlds i am talking about when there's only one Earth -_-".

But I just figured, that sometimes, you just can't get what you want & things won't go your way. In fact, it happens everytime. I do not know why i am here blogging instead of doing A Math . I guess i just need to pen my thoughts down since i rarely tell my emotions to others. I do not see the point in doin so, I just don't.

Had a really bad day today. Was superly pissed off at myself into getting in such shitty situations. Seriously, sometimes, people just don't understand, no matter how important something is to you. Or maybe they choose not to understand, as it's the easier way out & getting their way. Well.. I have to say, at least they know what they want instead of like me, torn between many things. :(I'm really tired of hiding behind a facade,always there & assuring that everything's alright,but in actual fact i'll be upset & unhappy just to make others around me happy. Well, i guess 1 person being unhapy is better that a group of people being unhappy. I really do not know why I just couldn't leave, maybe because i have a really strong conscience. Ya, and i suffered badly too after staying cos i wanted to go badly for the other thing. argh..wtf... i just could not make up my mind.

I'm really sick & tired of all these nonsensical shitty situations. I am really exhausted & wish I lead a life where i do not have much commitments nor involved in soo many acts.Just imagine , me going home straight after school ,& me joining a slack CCA. JUST IMAGINE.
Imagining is good but it actually happening is anoher thing.

Chances & Choices come & go at every point in our lives. I had a Choice, and I chose to live by a hectic schedule, I suffer the consequences. I just have to face it with a brave front. Face it as a challenge no matter how tired I am of it.

-I have not failed. I have just found 10 00 ways to do it-
I hope that's true...

reminiscing
8:41 PM <3

(:

it's been a while since i updated. ducky requested for an update bout our shopping trip but it's way over n you can refer to her blog (: anyway, today seriously sucked. my mood was swingin like a pendulum -_-"
i got pissed off for no reason(ok maybe there were) but i didnt really yell at anyone or anything. *lucky ppl around me were spared*(: but i thk i was just unhappy and in a dilemma regarding me having to be at 3 places at one time. who can actually do it? but i survived it!:D i nearly broke down cos i was soo stressed over choosing between attending psgm,training & CNY rehearsal. TSK. but i went for all three! yay! im a super woman! ahha

but wat was soo saddening is that when i went for training, i strained a muscle & had to do exercises. its as good as not training cos out of the 7 exercises i could only do 2! pathetic rite? & when jiao lian told us to jog 5 rounds at a pace where we were comfortable n had no pain, i had to walk cos of pain. wtf~ soo pissed with myself. n guess wat? t&f school team going THAILAND!!! i want, but that means i have to work hard like diamond *lmao*. hope i can get it..

prays hard... (:

+hope that tomorrow will be a better day +

reminiscing
7:49 PM <3

(:

I forgot...
The times that I have actually felt happy
The feeling of friends around me
The taste of success & the GREAt feeling of it

I forgot...
the times where i've felt worthy
the times where i felt appreciated
the moments when i felt proud of myself

I do not remember...
Having friends in times of bad
The warmth & conpany of others
the feeling of importance i have in me

I do not remember..
having a sense of purpose
achieving anything in life
nor having a goal or outlook in life

I do not remember...
What i was actually supposed to write here
so i am just crapping & all these phrases just came to my head!
Ahha, duck must be +ve oK! have a positive outlook in life! everything happens for a reason! & YOU CAN DO IT!I'll be behind u all the way!QUACK!

reminiscing
9:45 PM <3

(:

Goodbye 2005, Hello 2006!

That happened a few days ago,sadly, i was held up & couldn't pen down my thoughts. But I shall write down & blog about things!:)

2005 was the buziest year out of my whole 15 years living!lol. but definitely there were the highlights in the 2005 & also the lousy things that happened to me. Like the saying goes "Life has its ups & downs". But i was just giving it a thought, what would happen to the world if everything goes well & according to how we want it to be? What will become of us? Will I still be the person I am today? Or will I turn out completely different?

I realise,everything happens for a reason. God let you experience failure,not to make you miserable, but to teach give you the chance to prove to yourself that you are able to stand back on your feet & learn from your mistakes.God let you experience disappointment & sadness,not for the kick of it, but so that you can pull yourself together & learn that life isnt a bed full of roses.

I really learnt a LOT from all the people i met, many from different walks of life. It's really amazing how you can learn so much from a person you once know as a stranger. All the camps & courses that I've attended & really helped & can be applicable in life. Of course,I've regretted doing and making a lot of decisions in life, but then again, what's the point of regretting? It's too late to turn back time. Choices have consequences i guess. Chances come & go. Once you miss the opportunity, you are at a loss.*sigh*

I guess the only thing I regret badly until now is that i did not spend nor told my late grandma how much i loved her & appreciated her. Choices & chances were definitely there. It was a stupid mistake that I did & till now, I can't erase that from my head.

reminiscing
8:50 PM <3

(: