life has its ups and down, story of my life

2009-12-28T23:15:00.001+08:00

Monday, 28/12/09, 01:00am

I feel like the most pathetic and loneliest girl on earth right now, tearing in front of a blank screen, pouring my hearts out to a stupid device, incapable of feelings. I really don't know why the down feeling. Have I become worn out from handling this long distance relationship? How long more am I going to tolerate this? These are the questions in my head, all without answers, all I’m too afraid to face with.

I just feel so frustrated with myself, with my situation. Girls with problems with their boyfriends, consider yourselves lucky that you're able to have an argument with them in person, at least you can meet up anytime of the week. As for me, I wouldn't even want to risk having an argument, cos as it is, I’m half a globe away from my boyfriend, and to argue will just distance us further apart than ever. Any change in distance has since become negligible to me, cos he's not here in sunny Singapore. Canberra, London, they're the same.

I know having unhappy thoughts would not be healthy, but I can't help having such thoughts. Must be triggered over m conversation with my sis, who's expressing how she's not able to take 14 days, 2 weeks, away from her boyfriend who went to USA with his mother for a holiday. Thanks sis, I’ve been away from boyfriend for 2 months now, so you can't imagine the pain I feel.

She then asked “So how did you tahan sia?”

I was caught off-guard by such a frank question. That question really got me questioning myself. It wasn't really a question on how I overcome it, but rather the pain felt from waiting to hear from Rio, the emails/calls/msn. Sometimes I imagine myself as on of those women who has their other half sent for war, worried over their return, eager for any word from them.

The pain is so fresh right now, cos baby, I haven't heard from you for 4 days now, ever since I met you for transit, for 20min, of which we only spent half the time catching up. I feel so stupid waiting to hear from you, when I'm sure, you're having the time of your life in London, not a moment of me in your mind. My sister calls you an Idiot but really, though I partially agree with her, I just don't want you to ruin your holiday cos it's been 2 months since you've seen your family as well, so I’m sure you're making full use of the time to catch up with them,
You said you like the fact that I’m an understanding girlfriend cos I'm always thinking in others' perspective but hey, am I being too understanding here? Me and my way of always thinking of others before myself, something some call a strength, others a weakness. I really don't know. My sis says that I'm being too kind, and not anyone, at least a girlfriend, can tolerate having not heard from her bf for such a long time. Half of me say “Suck it up Malina” but part of me wants to voice it all out. But I have this fear, this fear of pointing out might end up in a fight, something of which we've never had, and I’m so scared of that. Or rather I’m scared of losing; losing it, and more importantly, losing you.

I’ve been in bed tearing for 2 hours non-stop now, and I can't let stop it from flowing. I feel like a spoilt tap, only which it can't be fixed by a plumber; cos her solution is the cause of the problem.

I don't even know why I’m ranting on the blog for, it won't comfort me when I’m sad or hug me and whisper “things are going to be all right” or even make you come back, but I guess I just need an avenue to put my thoughts into words, cos I'm such a sucker in expressing myself and I really don't want to share this with anyone. The irony, and I’m putting this in a blog, where any tom,dick or harry can read it, but I just fear the part of breaking down in front of others, a no-sense principle of mine, let them see my sorrow on the net rather than in person.

2009-12-06T18:09:00.000+08:00

6th December 2009, 1.43pm

I've decided to open up a blog again, just a channel for me to update things on my life and to share my random thoughts and reflections with you.

It's a nice Sunday afternoon and I'm all alone at home. I guess it's time for me to catch up and have my solitary time to myself, but somehow, it feels lonely and depressing. Sister just left to meet up with Izree and Yan went out to meet his endless list of friends. After saying their goodbyes and finishing my Korean episode for the hour, I came back to reality and looked around me, absorbing the surroundings of my house. I felt a familiar unpleasant emotion rising up to me, a stabbing pain on my heart. I felt empty, just like the house. Dull,abandoned and just plain empty. Funny how a house becomes a metaphor to what the occupants feel. A warm,welcoming house reflects happy occupants, whereas, a dull,empty house just reflects emptiness and loneliness.

I was wondering what triggered me to feel this way,and then it dawned on me how much i'm missing your company and how envious I was of my sister and girlfriends who are constantly out with their boyfriends. I guess it started from going to Ubin with my girlfriends,and seeing Suerya and Zul togeher made me remember my first trip there with you and then going on to see your parents for the first time. Going for Pauline's birthday yesterday and seeing Awie and Pauline together made me feel envious of them and before I know it, I was going back to the memories of the last gathering we went together, and that was your farewell party.

Then it dawned on me that you've only been away for 1month plus and here I am, tears rolling down my cheek wondering when you'll be back. I know at this juncture you'll be saying "Don't worry, it's only about 7 months more and I'll be back,time will pass by very fast" but hey, 7 months is still a long time. With each passing moment, I countdown the months you'll be back, and hopefully it'll be weeks and then days when i can see you again.

I know I'm being very selfish here lamenting at these emotions out to you when you're the one having it tough there,all alone.sometimes i really wonder how you do it,whether you think about me, as much as i do to you. Sometimes, I just can't help but feel insecure knowing you're 7hours flight away from me,whether the 8 months of being away will make you forget me, and all the feelings you've had for me when we first met. I'm not doubting the relationship nor you, but I guess it's just a question that lingers in my mind every once in a while.

I'm still getting adjusted to not receiving a sms from you everyday asking me "how's your day?" or a call from you arranging our next meet up or just talking on the phone about everything and anything. oh well, i have to get used to that.

I remembered what Aunty Ruki told me, "You have to be his pillar of strength and support when he's there,cos here, you have your friends and family, but there, he's all alone." I guess it's true of what she said, and I should stop being a crybaby and be there for you. It's time to get back that indepedent,tough girl I used to be, but somehow, you're the only one whom i've revealed the vulnerable side of me.

i shall stop here,if not i will go on and on about it. A long run will do me good, to clear my head and run; away from such unhappy thoughts.

2009-08-30T00:26:00.002+08:00

status: pms mode

omgosh, I swear I reopened my blog at the right timing. I feel so pms-ish for the whole fcking day, I swear I was frowning like half the time. geez, the feeling just came out of nowhere, so I guess blame it on the biological cycle!

urgh, I got quite pissed my plans didn't actually go as how I wanted it to be, cos the mugging/napping period was spoilt by a last minute plan to break fast all the way at geylang, where it's known to be freaking crowded on weekends during the Ramadhan month. Dragged myself there to break fast with the little rascals(my beloved cousins) and my mummy(s). got damn irritated at First Lady, nearly lashed out at the stupid tuition aunty who refused to pick my call, and got irritated over nothing. Darn, if not for the take 5( my plan of quitting is slowly making progress,yay), i think i'd have erupted or something.

seriously this time, somebody call 911. hurhur

2009-08-29T05:59:00.002+08:00

gosh, and they say facebook is addictive.

I'm back to the days where i flood my blog with multiple entries per day.

it's 6am right now, and i just can't get myself to sleep yet, cos I had to nurse a rather STUBBORN cousin to eat cos she was having gastric pain. i swear my threshold for patience is really high, cos my family gave up trying to make my cousin eat sahur after 5min, and I managed to make her eat something after a whole 30min of persuading her. *pats my own back*

Hoho,now I'm freaking awake cos I'm having one of those stomach pains again probably cos i ate too much sambal:/ stupid girl, now I gotta nurse my own pain. I think my biological system is cock up cos i barely slept 2 hours and i'm freaking alive,alert, awake now. I should just try lying in bed cos i realised I got to teach tuition @ 12pm :/

All righty then,signing out.

footnote:
this is really a damn stupid post with random thoughts just coming out of nowhere.there's really no flow in the sentences, but HECK!

2009-08-29T01:43:00.004+08:00

yes, I've decided to finally update my blog after soo long of being dormant. Okay, so I've turned 19,started school and have someone in my life now. The drive for me to restart my blog was triggered by
1) the urge to pen,or rather, type down my thoughts
2) express myself, since it's the best way of getting myself to reflect about things
3) for the heck of it

I guess the real reason i wanted to blog was that there's been some things in my mind lately and i just need to rant it out. Talking to a few close girlfriends got me quit affected and thinking of relationships, to the point one of them even commented that it is the "break up season"

Whoa, harsh as it sounds, I don't quite know if I should agree or not with that. I mean, in every relationship, there are definitely bound to be setbacks and love wars,and the two individuals that chose to commit to the relationship should brace themselves for such situations. I guess its up to the free will(learnt this reading up on behaviourism,haha) of the people on how they should go about with the issues at hand.
1) they can stock up on the ammunities to prepare for a battlefield (suddenly the song "Battlefield" pops to mind)
2) do the diplomatic way and go about talking it over with coffee,tea, or me:P (geez, I make it sound so simple,lol)

but oh well,its easy for me to pen it down in all these stupid theories and opinions of mine but hey, reality check; things are harder than it seems. it's sad that that different sets of friends have come to me with different sets of problems they face and what i could do most of the time was just to provide a listening ear. I feel useless at times, but i guess that's the best i offer for now, as I train up to be a psychologist (LOL, as if it teaches you on how to cope with love life,hehe)

Talking about relationships got me thinking about mine, on how many friends are saying that we are still in the "honeymoon" period. HAHA, of course there's a certain truth to that cos we are still in the process of getting to know one another and what you call in the "lovey dovey" period, still very careful about not stepping on each others' toes, for fear of the Love War to be declared. To think of it, I'm quite contented with how things are going on for us as we still managed to accommodate to each other (yes, you may say it's still the honeymoon period) and,not like one of those stick-glue couples that exist in their own universe. Haha, I'm a girl who likes her space and independence but I guess your going away in a month is just getting to me and I just feel like spending every free time I have with you. But demanding for such is equivalent to me being a possessive girlfriend and like one of those crazy girls who claim they can't live without their bfs. -_-" uhhh, gross!

So ya, i'm just hoping for the best that we will be going on strong even as you leave me for the kangaroos:P Friends and family(my sis) have been voicing their concerns and doubt on how we are going to continue the relationship even though we will be in different continents. Thanks for the concerns but I'm not going to lie to myself and tell everyone that everything is going to be all right, cos I know things are definitely going to be trying for us, that's for sure. I can't quite give a convincing answer or assurance of how I'm going to continue my relationship, but one thing for sure is that I know I gotta have faith.

Oh well, all this is making me feel sleepy, I shall stop here for now. Till again!

Come what may,
I'll embrace the challenges as it comes along :))

2009-02-06T12:59:00.002+08:00

oh gosh i am nineTEEN, the final year in the teenage years, by next year i wouldn't be in the teens already and will be stuck in the oldies age, TWENTY where i'm neither a teenager nor a legal adult; in other words, facing a confused crisis. hohoho,speaking of birthday, i celebrated my birthday this year differently, at camp with 200+ campers & 20+trainers with me

not exactly an ideal birthday celebration for most people, but i'm quite cool with that considering i'm getting paid still. it's all about the money baby!

Thanks to everyone who sms/facebook/called me to wish me a happy birthday, my apologies for not reply most of them cos i was either too tired to reply back or i just plain forgot.

They say,one year older will make one one year wiser, and for this case, it holds true for me cos this camp was really an eyeopener to me as a trainer.

It was a real learning experience from observing my fellow trainers at work, with sheik being more of a mentor to me than a buddy and getting one of the most difficult classes was definitely a challenge for me.You could say i've learnt more about these kids but more importantly, i learnt more about myself and the things i have to improve on as a trainer. the so called leadership skills learnt back in school, though applicable, may not be as suitable for different people cos these kids aren't as obedient as most cedarians. and they are definitely more vocal and daring.

i guess i love this job not because of the money(puleez, compared to admin. jobs, the pay is nothing) but more because i love the outdoors and interacting with people. The opportunity to work with different people from different walks of life is refreshing as you do get to learn a lot from them and get differnt perspectives. The different types of kids and behaviour you get can prove to be challenging as you have to adapt to the different people and find methods that can immediately capture their attention. Well..i think this job is more challenging that having to memorise table no. and customers' orders but at least i'm loving it!:)

and i celebrated my birthday with a bbq leftovers from the kid's camp with a few peeps at 2am in the morning and later in the evening, i had a shisha date with my girlfriends:)

2009-01-30T01:02:00.002+08:00

Gee, i just read a post from huiluan about 25 random things-_-" i guess i shall be random today.

I just started reading a book called "Why men don't listen and women don't forget"

Don't ask me why i'm reading such a book, i went to psychology section to try to make sense of psychology and this book just caught my eye cos of its lime green cover. But yea, then again, i'm quite random so it's quite an interesting read.

It can be quite dry at times though but my favourite comes at the facts of life and how men and women are different.

Do you know...

Men have generally bigger brains compared to women? (it's scientifically proven)

[Before the male starts criticising the female, let me add on.]

It's also scientifically proven that women have more grey matter as compared to men.

A classic example of why size doesn't matter.

|malina +nanabanana+ says:
Hey my nick is much cooler than yours!

JuN kAi says:
mine cooler lor

JuN kAi says:
and what is grey matter?

haha,doesn't this prove a point?

Don't get it? nevermind, you lack pia mater:D

yea yea, "whateveer cheese fries"

2009-01-29T01:13:00.002+08:00

The chinese new year break nearly killed me of boredom. Surprise surprise, most of my friends were celebrating the year of the ox or working while i was rotting at home, staring into space.

Okay, exaggerated as i may sound, i only stayed home for two whole days,and i must admit that is quite a feat for me already cos i'm mostly out of the house most of the time. But well, i had a great time on the eve of new years', celebrating a farewell and birthday celebration. Potluck as it was, the only thing provided for were bbq food and mostly booze. haha, my donut empire was snapped up in barely 2 minutes, but heck, it shows i choose the right food:D but yea,it was a wacky party to be at, it was like good cos booze,cigs and entertainment were provided. the company of friends were fun & welcoming considering nada & i were the newbies and also treated like the 'babies':)) but yea, everyone got high before 11pm but well, we were quite sober to know what we were doing, in a way.

We stayed out till the next morning before i got home around 9am, and i managed to get 3 hours of sleep before being awaken by evil sister who forceed me to accompany dad & her to mustafa ctr. i was a zombie for a day, but i still got to buy 2 tops for myself:D lucky i got something for the trip down.hehe, but yea, we bought a hd tv & its hot red!woohoo...i'm so into red,orange and hot pink now.

that aside, i stayed home the next two days, plans to meet up were cancelled cos it wasn't confrmed and all. tsk..sick of the lack of wanting to confrim things and i hate things most when plans are changed at the last moment. Not that i;m resistant to changes, but people nowadays should start learning to respect the time people has set aside to meet them for appointments, instead of happily cancelling the meet ups. these people ought to be shot.hrmph.

anyway, this year, i'm gonna spend my birthday at camelot camp. Oh wow, you must be thinking it must be a loserish birthday:/ but hey, i don't mind, i don't like kicking up a fuss about birthdays, to me ,it's just another reminder that time is ticking by and i'm getting damn old.(damnnit)

but yea, since i've got pay day, i've still got a long list of things to buy, but the pay isn't sufficient. darn, so pls be charitable and donate to malina-needs-funds. hohoho

1)Sports shoes (DONE! GOt purple asics from daddy!:D)
2)Sports tops ( DONE!same sponsor as above)
3)Mountain bike ( unanimous refusal by my family to buy one for me:( )
4)Crocs! ( a nice cute one for my own use)
5)Haviannas sandals ( think my sister is buying this for my bithday! hohoho)
6)A pair of Oakleys shades ( i need to work 3 camps to pay for a pair of these:/)
7)More dresses
8)Camping pouch for own use
9)Pumps! Those with less heels are something i need to invest in
10)Shoebag! i need to find another orange shoebag to replace the ones that i got from girlfriends last year
11)accesories!
12)more jeans/bottoms
13) money to pay for my driving license

Gahhh..all these need money and that means i need to either get assigned more camps or plot to solo rob a bank (since my partner in crime is serving the nation over at tekong:/)

it's ok, i guess i'll have to take a few months to save up,especially for the mountain bike!:D

2009-01-29T00:45:00.002+08:00

The last time i blogged was 3 weeks ago and soo many things have happened i feel overwhelmed on what i should blog about.

so many different events happened, from good to bad, happy and sad,i'd say it's been quite a challenging january.

after having done my first camp with camelot, i met wacky people who are great & give me a refreshing view of life(ironic especially from their tembak habit) and how to inject fun with work:) finally, away from jc kids, who are trained to follow by the book (no offense, i mean i am a jc kid too) away from rigidity in structure and finally some leeway. i'm still looking forward to working with camp ha though, i'd like to see the difference in the management of camps,provided they assign me even a camp to start with :/ but yea, i guess i'm sticking to camps n tuition to live by for now. to just get another better paying job for now is quite hard,especially with the recession. well, the pay may not be as good as an office job, but i bet you the fun and experience is just as worth it.

ok,enough of work for now, as for family, i just had two relatives passed away back to back, my dad's brother and my mother's brother's wife. It was really a task to have to handle two funerals one day after the other, especially when i received news of my aunt's passing on during camp. it felt so surreal, a shock till now that she's gone forever,i can't quite imagine that she's no longer around. Even though i've only come to taking care of her 2 times, her death was quite a hit in the face for me, cos i was planning to visit her after camp the next day. I guessed i should have scheduled a visit much earlier, cos what's left of now are just regrets, words that are useless even if written and binded into a book. she has passed on and life has to go on, no matter how harsh that may sound.

2009-01-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HECTOR SIM!:D

omg, he's 19 already and i'm gonna turn 19 in exactly one month's time:/ boohoo, that sucks, i'm getting older by the day, yet i think i'm getting childish at the same time:/ haha, anyway, i stayed home today & finally went for a run!woohoo, felt really good to have a good run after soo long! and i found out i ran 9.1km(according to mapmyrun.com) so yay! it's more than my target of 8km!

After night cycling & the hike in adult fares,i'm seriously considering to buy myself a good mountain bike( a road bike is really expensive) the idea of having my own bicycle is just soo exciting cos that means i can cycle around whenever i want (at the same time tone my muscles!hehe) gosh, i even had the crazy idea to cycle to bottletree park tmr (should i have a bike) to save on bus fare. lol, i think i'm crazy but i'm still in the want to have an adventure mood. [i was soo tempted to run on the road cos i missed the feeling of cycling on the road]

yes,i think i'm crazy too, maybe it's just a phase that one goes through after A levels. okay, i think i'd better sleep, need to be at bottletree park by 8.30am, gahh.

2009-01-04T23:14:00.002+08:00

Darn...i just had my first fast food meal for 2009 yesterday!

KFC Zinger Students' Meal. Urghh..imagine the amount of calories I have to burn from eating that! It was all thanks to manda & her sudden urge to eat KFC.:/ yes yes, i could have resisted the temptation but well..i haven't eaten fast food for quite some time too.

Anyway, yesterday's meeting for Post D&D was quite fruitful EVEN with only manda & I attending (with weiyi for 30min) after the feedback session/interview, manda & I had a loong catching up session with each other & had girl talk:))

after that i meet up with my primary school friends!:D

haha and we decided to to take our friendship to the next level & go clubbing before jasper goes to army! how exciting & weird at the same time!

and after that,i met up with hector sim & he met my pri school friend! this is hilarious cos i got to meet his pri school friend a few days back. & so we went out to camwhore at the flyer! am still waiting for photos from jasper!:D

2009-01-03T03:30:00.003+08:00

I just realised i haven't done my reflections of 2008 and goals for 2009.

let's just save the reflections for later :D

What i wanna do by the end of 2009(not in any order or priority)
20 things
1) Shop till i drop
2) Buy a bicycle!
3) Buy rollerblades & learn to do turns and figure out my t-break
4) Enroll in dance lessons & successfully complete at least a double piroutte without looking like a clown
5) Complete a half-marathon at the end of the year
6) Go bungee jumping
7) Get car license before my sister
8) Get a bike license after getting car license
9) Go Backpacking/road trip
10) Go cycling at Ubin
11) Achieve my ideal weight
12) Hopefully get a bf [i'm single & available & ready to mingle]{i'm SA without D,S-ingle A-Available,not D-desperate,learnt it from one of the excos,hoho }
13) Go for swimming lessons & at least a get silver cert.
14) Learn to play drums
15) Learn street jazz,hip hop and hopefully b-boy!
16) Learn to play accoustic guitar
17) Set up my own volunteers' network
18) Buy myself sports shoes & spike shoes
19) Cut down on the use of vulgarities like its a common figure of speech
20) Get down to working out & getting toned abs (not extra abs called flabs!:D)

9 habits to take up
1) go jogging everyday(>30min run)
2) avoid eating after 8pm
3) cut down on snacking
4) Spend more time at home/family
5) Clean the house once a week
6) Cut down the usage on the com
7) Sleep >8 hours a day
8) Be more tidy
9) Eat my meals at regular timings (not like bfast=lunch lunch=dinner and dinner=supper/snacking)

Oh TWENTY OH NINE

2009-01-03T01:28:00.002+08:00

Oh no, new year's just started on a bad note.

i just got the same postponed interview postponed again and i decided to take actions and told the girl off.:/ gahh..i mean:

1. I found out that the company is in the sales marketing industry even though they claim to look for a "customer service" employee (customer service my ARSE) that totally cheated me cos i thought i was registering for front desk job.
2. they cancelled my interview barely 2 hours before it started & that wasted my time cos i set aside time for it,cancelling or postponing my other plans.
3. the woman kept beating round the bush when i wanted to confirm the jobscope that got on my nerves & caused me to reply her sms on a bitchy note.

"hey there, i think you can just cancel my slot for tmr's interview cos i'm not interested in the jobscope & it shows a lot from cancelling my interview slot twice & not respecting the time i set aside for the interviews."

IN YOUR FACE bitch. gahh,i ended up staying home when i could have booked for dance lessons.

seriously,all these people ought to be shot.

2009-01-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

i just had a different way of celebrating countdown for 2009, the first of its own getting to avoid all the sweaty people,large families,and drunk people for the first time! haha, plus, this was really a last minute plan that brilliantly suggested by yours truly.:D hoho, too brilliant to the extent that we ended up waiting until 8am for the bike shop to open. hohoho,happy new year!

But yea, night cycling was fun with hector(navigator) & alvin(pro biker)cos they were really crazy & all & i got the first taste of night cycling(last time i did that was in cedar years & it was really mild) so we had a crazy stupid idea to go to esplanade & we waded through the traffic past esplanade into esplanade drive where we got stuck in human traffic(which was far more dangerous & merciless than vehicles) and so turned back toooo kallang to our newfound rendezvous spot!hehe, we should come up with an article for couples of the many rendezvous spots in singapore!

Alvin the pro biker & I

After kallang and watching old boring fireworks, we sent alvin off to tampines back home cos the poor dude had work the next morning. While on our way to tampines, at bedok area, I HAD MY FIRST BIKE SPRINT OF 2009!

hahaha, it was amusing to start with cos we were cycling away when we caught up with this bangla. so hector decided to cut past him cos he was holding us back. after hector overtook him, alvin and i decided to do so to close up the gap. and then, the bangla decided to race with me without me realising at first! haha...when i realised he went ahead of me, and i was more than determined to show him superwoman powers of mine & i pedalled like a maddog & i overtook him! wheee:) haha who says foreign talent is always good? wahaha, cheap thrill for the new years!

Hector Sim the loser & i:D

The first sunrise to welcome 2009!

But yea, after sending alvin, hec & i wanted to join kev & co. over at downtown only to realise that that idiot was going to ECP! GAHH.. so we had to cycle back to ecp & i came to hector sim's rescue & help him fix his bicycle chain!hoho,2009 starting out great already with my superwoman acts, maybe i can act in Heroes for the next season>_< but yea, it was a whole night of cycling & we finally rested at 4-5plus where hec & i got to have reflections & trade secrets*hohoho* we chill until 8 plus am before we went home and I had 2 hours of sleep before setting off to teach tuition:((loserish life yeaaa)

after a loong draggy session for tuition, i met up with marcus to visit him at his work which was conveniently near hougang mrt. chatted with him for a while before meeting up with my girlfriends!:D one minah,one ah lian & one neutral(that's me k!) hanging out together is soo not a good combination cos some mats kept disturbing us at different junctures,like sooo what the heck. we chilled at pasir ris beach, and chit chat!hoho, i love beaches. while eating our ramli burger, these two phillipine dudes came to us & serenade ronin keating's-when you say nothing at all on the guitar & we totally melted & donated to the charity organisation they were raising funds for!haha, at that moment, we all wished for a boyfriend who can do that!

BFFAE

but yea,after that we decided to bid farewell & meet up soon & i reached home at10pm(kuddos for the early time to reach home in '09!) and i'm so tired now yet i can't sleep,so i rellly think i'll have eyebags like owls cos they don't sleep at night.

and i'm so happy rachel pointed to me that i haven't broken my new years resolution YET cos its supposed to be CUT DOWN on the use of profanities & vulgarities & not stop the use of it completely(phew)

hoho, that's a relief cos i called yz a bitch & wtf unintentionally while talking to hec online. hoho, nada pointed out bitch=vulgarity but then again its so subjective. it's all just a form of figure of speech & expression so common that it doesn't sound so vulgar no more. :/ haha, so much so that it lost its meaning & had become mild. ok, doesn't give me the excuse to cut down my use of vulgarities!

2008-12-30T02:35:00.002+08:00

Whoots! I just realised i had another stupid conversation with Lyana:D
melayu translation: saya baru teringat akan satu dialog yang lucu bersama Lyana

|malina +nanabanana+ says:
betol nyer rabon!
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
omg
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
y am i typing in malay
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
hahahah this is fun
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
mari kita bertutur dalam bahasa melayu
lyana. super records says:
must embrace out kemelayuan cheyy cheyyy
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
wheee
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
embrace out =not malay
lyana. super records says:
what's that in malay
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
mesti memeluk kemelayuan dan me-accept
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
budaya kita
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
accept in malay?!
lyana. super records says:
memeluk kepala otak kau
lyana. super records says:
haha
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
bahasa melayu saya masih power
lyana. super records says:
awak harap! = you wish ah

gosh, lack of sleep does make you more stupid:/

2008-12-30T02:32:00.001+08:00

This is a super lame conversation I had with Suerya Sapuan :D

|malina +nanabanana+ says:
im high
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
from lack of sleep
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
GO SLEEP
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
want me to sing a lullaby?
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
go die
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
*go to sleep...
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
im doing accounting
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
haha
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
... little child...
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
morning's cmg...
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
besar macam badak you call me little child
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
sleep now...*
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
lagu ape je
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
aku tak tau
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
aku create
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
sedap tak?
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
tak leh rase
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
hahaha
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
perangai
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
i can only eat air
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
makan angin!
wooooottts
|malina +nanabanana+ says:
i cracked a malay joke!
Ayreus: 2 + 0 = 1 says:
BASKET

haha,ok-_-"

2008-12-28T06:14:00.001+08:00

im finally done with the video and i havent slept!

uhhh...time to go visit my aunt at 6+am in the morning:X

god bless me that i survive tonight's dnd:/

I will survive!

and thank you macdonalds for being a dear to let me use wireless and free electricity through the night:D

2008-12-26T02:46:00.002+08:00

i'm supposed to be asleep now or rather be doing the final preparations for the upcoming d&d but i soo can't be bothered right now & i can't sleep. I really think i've turned nocturnal(maybe i should stay at night safari-they have nocturnal animals there right?)

but yea, my motivation for my youth organisations is slowly diminishing, and that is scaring me a little considering i'm quite attached to both organisations and that i'm quite senior there already. But maybe,i'm quite realistic now and money-minded and realise i can put in the time for a job or even a volunteer event where i get paid(euphemism for it is incentives-_-")

I'm finding every excuse to get out of both organisations and I'm considering (seriously) to start my own network for volunteers where there isn't red tape. After all, red tape causes inefficency and so the market fails.[hurhur, 3am got to my brain.]

but yea, i guess as much as i wanna say i'm versatile & adaptable to changes, i don't like the changes made. All the changes to things are making things more diffcult and me, resistant to the changes(even though it may all seem to be for the better) i guess i'm just tired, tired of being the few people who are there to keep salvaging everything and saving everyone's arses. tired of giving myself hope, each time there seems to be a chance for something big, but it just doesn't work out in the end. maybe it's just me,myself and i who thinks too much and gets herself stressed over stupid things.

ive been thinking about it, maybe the problem really lies with me & my willingness to embrace changes, but it seems like there are others who agree along with me as well. So where lies the problem then?

to that, i haven't quite figured out the answer, but one thing's for sure, the upcoming d&d (of which i'm in-charge of)is going to be quite screwed up, with such low response & i cannot bear the thought of having organised a failed event.

and why am i awake and not doing anything about it?i'm wondering about that too, and i've been thinking about what i can do about it, but there's only so much i can do for now. cross my fingers and hope everything turns out to be all right:/

even that doesn't sound convincing.gahh

2008-12-26T01:47:00.004+08:00

It's been quite a slow paced week for me, and rather frustrating at times as well.

Monday,22nd Dec '08
Had nice outings with 2 of my girlfriends, went cycling from one end to the other and back again, and i went for a run after that. woohoo, damn good workout for me.
I guess being stressed up can really get you down to exercising. it was a fun girls' day out, cept that it was incomplete without rahh there(miscommunication on my part,my bad) but yea,it was fun:D (pictures are all in facebook, blogspot is screwed and I can't be bothered to add them all here)

my ideal day at the beach, chilling and lazing around

decided to cycle from one end of east coast to the other-we are superwomen!

Me and my hot pink bimbotic bike

Odd combi of friends- our very different dressing got some people turning at us and wondering how we could be friends

left to right: the very demure zah(hoho),the tourist soya,the can't be bothered to dress up malina

bahh..i still haven't figured out the distance of the ECP(i tried searching online & some said its 9km/15km/20km) wow..wat a range!)

2008-12-19T12:34:00.003+08:00

We had a sushi day on monday,cos jas was craving for sushi and wanted to have nice food before we go for camp! haha, it was really a crazy day, we ate up to 40+ plates not including the double and triple plates together! what gluttons we were , we sat there for 3 whole hours!:D

here's pictures of our sakae spread!

Our overfilled table that we had to stack plates on top of each other

Happy to eat nice food:D

We ordered too much food and had to resort to play games to force each other to eat;

the losers;luck wasn't on our side,boo hoo

the winners; i bet they secretly made a pact to work together against us!:P

In the end, we couldn't finish the food and resort to hiding them under plates:D

2008-12-14T20:20:00.006+08:00

I went out with my fiance & her bf& his friend on saturday:D

I slept only for 2hours before waking up early with the idea of going runnig but i was just too tired & end up watching tv with my sister & then heading for exco meeting at 3.30pm, only to find josh there. haha, I should present all my excos watches for christmas to remind them to be on time for meetings-_-" but yea, ahmad came at4.30pm & syirr toO! missed that woman soo much, just need mar to be there to make it complete & backk to the old day. But too bad, mariam is tied down at dairyfarm being a milkmaid(as concluded by syirr & i) to clock her hours for her attachment. tsk.

Anyway, meeting was productive yet hilarious at the same time cos josh apparently left his brains back in vietnam & i'm glad to say he's going back there on tuesday to look for it again.*thank god, cos he's about the smartest & rationale dude of the exco* but yea, there we had the exchange with regards to the newbies & concluded that they can never be like us oldies. The combination for our exco is just plain weird & unique yet we can all work so well together. unity in diversity;)

After meeting, went off to meet fiance & bf & friend to chill & listen to peepshow's 'roadshow.' literally, cos it was by the roadside across centrepoint! but yea, we had fun listening to live band after soo long of deprivation. i totallly missed the tapestry days :(

but here's some pics that we took!:D

PEEPSHOW

We found a smurf along the way!

Our cool picture with sk, he looks like sugar daddy,hehe

2008-12-13T02:41:00.009+08:00

I AM BACK IN SINGAPORE AFTER 4 DAYS AWAY!

Feels great to come back to a place where you know that toilets are clean, the streets are safe(safer at least) & facilities are accessible almost everywhere. (even though malaysia has got more halal food to offer:X)

& so i went for a short trip with my relatives & 3 little rascals who got on my nerves half the time,i have to admit that it was a bittersweet holiday for me.

Day 1

Left Singapore at 9am, we had 2 pitstops before my aunt decided to change plans not to go over to Port Dickson & just head straight to Malacca *Boohoo* that means that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the beach,the sun, go jogging & enjoy the sauna. So much for theraphy & getting a getaway. We ended up back the the Garden City, a service apartment & spent the remainder ofthe day at the pool

Day 2

Set off from our apartment & changed for a bigger apartment on the 5th floor. The new apartment was definitely much better, it had more room for us to sit around & my cousin to play soccer-_-" After that, we headed to A Famosa, this recreational place, that has a zoo, resort, swimming place etc. quite a cool place I would say, was rather impressed by it! We ended up spending another whole day in the waters & i think i have officially changed race. But I managed to buy a tankini,sponsored by my Mummy & mak!Quite surprised they actually approved of me buying one, originally intended to buy a a bikini but decided against cos the tankini looks cute! But if I had the money i would have bought both cos its set at the same price as in singapore BUT in different currency!that's like half price!haha, typical singaporean:D

& after that,we left for home,where we got to the comforts of our bed:)

Day 3

On the morning of the 3rd day, i was enlightened & decided that i should go running around the estate area, only to find out the carpark is freaking small & i would totally die of boredom if i were to do a 30min run around the area. Feeling up for some adventure of my own I decided to take a risk by running beyond my housing area and out to the streets of Malacca. I would say its quite an experience, cos after a while i realised i was the only idiot running around(at least in running attire) I bet the locals though there was gonna be Olympics or something, suddenly seeing a GIRL( yes,they're still conservative) running around all alone along the city of malacca. It was quite scary,i'd have to admit cos i got confused and lost for a while, but with my cool woman's intuition,i figured my way around. But my cool intuition has its limit & i realised I was running on a path so narrow I was just asking to be knocked down-_-" But luckily for me, aside from being honked at occassionally and inches from some realy devilish car drivers, I was pretty safe. Regretted not bringing my camera that day, but well, i went again for my adventures the next day!:D third day was a day without swimming, and we went SHOPPING!

Over there, they have Poh Seng, here we have Poh Kim!

I still find this sign hilarious.

Day 4

The Adventures of Malina Alwi!:))

Woohoo, brought my camera along for my adventure! RObinson Crusoe couldn't present pictures of his travelling, but I can!:D So let me bring you through my malacca running trip! & i swear they people haven't seen a runner around their area, cos they checked me out(quote unquote yinzhou-_-") i'm totally flattered to be checked out by malaysian dudes.>_<

This is the route i went..

The road not taken..(reminds me of the poem)

Found a monitor lizard/iguana/crocodile whatever you call it in a drain! Scared me for a moment!

Walked to tourist spots!:)
FOund a plane abandoned,waiting for me to take off

Menara Taming Sari that rotates 360deg to give a cool view

The super narrow lane that nearly got me killed:X

Smile!:D

More tourist stuff, i like the oldness of this building

UMNO Post:X

A train was waiting for me to go on with my adventure:)

They have ajail at convenience, just round the corner!

I find this hilarious,finally a sign that they are exercising!

my silhoutte

We went for Go KART after that!:D

VROOOOMMMMMMMM

More pics can be found @ facebook. Standard chart photos included:)

2008-12-09T03:45:00.002+08:00

gosh, i haven't updated for a while even though mugging is waay over & i am supposed to have lesser things to do.

but it seems like the same due to my many activities lined up for me(obviously due to my over enthusiasm in wanting to be involved in everything!)

now that prom & standard chartered is over, i only have to focus on campteen events as of now & my mission to get a job! GOSH, SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME A JOB! i am officially UNEMPLOYED! *gasp*

the very word scares me; it feels like my world is very dark & uncertain, and of course i'll be financially unstable. I am just not keen on the idea of living of my parents, i want to be an independent woman, all right, maybe more independent than I already am.

Oh talking about the events that have passed, i am satisfied with what i wore for PROM! like finally, cedar prom was such a screw with my make up overly done up & wearing such a fugly dress as well as a sucky post prom!

This year's prom was rocking, right from my dressing all the way to the post-prom!
I'm totally relieved that no one had the same dress as me & nor the same colour (though merr wore yellow too!) I'm finally glad i got to wear my fedora hat( thanks to syirr dearest who loaned it to me) & get to wear something different. The food wasn't so great as i thought it would, I swear, h5 appreciation dinners are so much more worth it (i only pay $15-$20) compared to the $90 i paid for prom. So much for a 5 star hotel which had shitty service of which i feel that the hotel i used to work for has much higher standard!

anyway, that aside, post-prom was fun! I brought my girlfriends to their first clubbing experience( though 1-2 didn't quite like it) & yea, i broke my 40 days rule :X I really should practise self-restrain this time. I cannot afford to be as havoc as after Os period. No more,malina. But yea, we bumped into syaz & soccer dudes & it became an impromptu gathering (pictures have been uploaded to my facebook!) It was quite fun to go out with whacked out people who really have fun, so yea i didnt regret joining them to stay out:D

Right after prom, i reached home at 8.30am, thanks to zah's cousin who made us wait for one bloody hour(i'm getting sick of the waiting game) & i reached home, wishing i could just get on to bed & proceed to lalaland BUT i was prevented knowing that once i sleep, i will not be able to wake up in time for campteen. & so I took my time to get ready & ready Early @ 12.45pm, and to my dismay, the appointed leader was late & I, still recovering from drinking & lack of sleep had to give instructions & take charge. So much for being the mentor & being observants for the day & letting the newbies do their thing. And so I garnered energy trying to cope before joshua my saviour came & helped out.& so we let the kids take charge of their things, & he convinced me into eating though all i could think of was puking & sleeping. & so, campteen started a little shaky with us seniors SOO tempted to take over but restrained by the fact that we want them to learn.

My mood for the got worse by a call from some biatch, & i got to rant it off to YZ for a while. So campteen wasn't so great a turnout but i would say it was all right for a first time.(maybe its due to my lack of sleep i'm being so critical) & I had to drag myself to expo to see mr cai YZ to discuss stan chart & at the same time, give a visit to rae & jo who volunteered for race-packing. After much contemplating & discussion, i went home with a high fever of 39.5deg & had a short rest.

NExt day, I woke up at 9am remembering i had to attend the 1 session complimentary Weight management programme I won. I thought it was really a joke during consultation, though the treatment was an experience. I already prepared my self not to accept any form of deal with them, cos I don't believe in slimming programmes & just exercise & balanced diet. & oh, i was dressed quite 'sexy'(in my relatives' eyes) dressed in my short shorts & an off shoulder top when i met my grandma & my holy aunt. you bet i had a HOLY COW reaction! thank goodness I was having a fever & my grandma felt that i was burning hot so she was more concerned about my health than my clothes! My aunt wasn't that forgiving though, she was not as welcoming. I wonder why>_<

But after that, I headed down to the slimming centre & was given a consultant. I find my conversation with her hilarious & ridiculous. Here it goes:

C: (takes my height & weight) What was the weight you said again when you called?
m: 59kg
c: wow, so you lost 4 kg. are you satisfied?
m: no, not really (to say yes would be a lie!but i was asking for it)
c: *sees opportunity & seize it!* Oh you know for your height your IDEAL weight is 45kg, and in order to achieve that you will need more than one session.
m: (tries to hide laughter) Oh, icic, that means i need to lose 10kg?
c: Yes, & since you're a student we are presenting you an offer for only $300+ for 5 sessions unlike the normal package for $1.6k
m: *pretends to give thoughtful look of consideration* but you know i'll have to ask my mum about this cos she's the sponsor
c: *desperate* oh but we cant hold back this offer, it only stands now!

m: tries to bullshit ard
c: tries to convince somemore

m: I think i'll have to pass on this offer. It is a really good deal, but i will not be able to afford this until i have got a job & then i can consider such options
c: but if you take it up then ,it'll mean you have to pay $1.6k
m: *subtly bitchy* yes, i realise that, but that is really up to me to decide what i wanna do about it
c: *tries belittling method* So how? how are you gonna achieve your ideal weight? 10kg you know*quotes example*
m: oh, i didn't mention to you im a sportsman so i guess ill just have to keep on exercising to lose weight. not as effective but at least i'll lose weight & be healthy.

c: *pissed off & offended* oh ok lor, up to you

Gee, this woman cannot even speak proper english in a sentence & wishes to convince me of such deals! tsk tsk, but i got to go to the sauna( i just realised i was risking my life having a fever & going into a sauna, i nearly fainted) & going to the burn fat blacket thingy. & so from there i lost less than one kg!
OH WOW, amazing isn't it-_-" bet you it's purely water loss. i'm not that dumb.

& so i went to expo after that to visit all my friends who volunteered for race-collecting & i got to go shop for lingerie @ john littles.:D after that i went home to see my sis @ home & know i won't have the priviledge to sleep with her around. Was supposed to meet yz @ 12 on the bus but some bugger smsed at 7pm telling to meet earlier for briefing @ 11.30am, Just to be briefed for 10 freaking minutes. thanks people, it was nice of you.

hoho, yes yes, as sector leader i'm supposed to be responsible & all blablabla but i was already dying from lack of sleep!:X & stan chart started off crazily once volunteers came cos cranky people who can't handle stress started screaming their arse off at everyone & i was so thankful i had yinzhou as my partner cos we got to share the load! *phew*

& once we reached, I was supposed to send my volunteers to their venues only to realise i was effing lost. I am so sorry volunteers to make you all walk, but it was the 2nd time I was there & i should have found out about it earlier,really, my bad. I even made yz go up & downhill from ecp just to come to my rescue & not make me lose face:X so yes, he was the real superman of the day & i'm gonna treat him ice cream! lol

So yes, it was my first experience cycling uphills & downhills round & round it was fantastic exercise & torture cos I ended up not eating from 5pm all the way to 10am & i swear i lost weight mann. Haha, it was really a different experience having to wade through the runners who only care about their runs & not about giving way & having to cycle through live traffic & nearly knocked down by big lorries( really my own fault cos i decided to go live traffic over live humans;i swear they are big yet they appear more merciful, in a way:S) So yeap, i went over to ecp to do yz a favour only to be scolded on the fone to go back to my position:X so yes,cycling was tiring! but well, things ended up on an ok note, cept yz was traumatised from having to go through the expressway & i was just plain hungry & 0 energy left. I was sad i didnt interact as much to my volunteers as i usually do cos i was just a gan chiong spider to ensure everything's ok:( but oh well...what's done cannot be undone so i'll just be comforted that there'll be other opportunities:)

after settling our volunteers,we explored the tentages (that promised a lot during the wasted briefing) but end up having not much things & then left for home. I gave myself a hell of a beauty sleep of 19hrs! champion!

& now, i'm done packing & will be awake in an hour to head over to m'sia for my holiday while my partner had to attend his exams. woohoo, it feels good to look forward for a holiday, even if its a short trip!:D

2008-12-02T21:22:00.002+08:00

She was typing away happily,uploading pictures & chatting to her girlfriends when suddenly, "PIANG!"

Sound of broken pieces of glass break the serenity of the house!

She turned towards the direction of the noise & saw glass falling from the ceiling of her room. Out of shock, for a moment, she thought that the building was about to crash, or that she was experiencing an earthquake.

But little did she expect it to be parts of the lighting in her room!

Gosh, this is totally a failed attempt at narrative. I suck at narrative, god knows why i'm a lit student. I was never fond of doing a narrative essay & would prefer argumentative essays anytime, well, until I did GP!:X

But yea, this was what happened to me just now at 12.58 pm, when the light cover suddenly came crashing down onto the floor. Luckily, i wasn't standing underneath it, or i'll be in hospital & you'll be visiting me.

ok, i shall post more stuff later..

crime night has already started! ahhhhhh

2008-11-28T23:33:00.005+08:00

Its been forever since i've updated but...

ITS FINALLY OVER!:D

(ok, i'm lagging in this annoucement!)

Ever since 5pm striked on 24th Nov '08, i've been going out everyday from early morning all the way till late nite. it's rather exhausting but its quite a nice life to lead:D

Ok, the final paper didn't quite end on a good note for me, but what the hell, i can think about in next year & worry about it. But well, seems like the lit tutors were really nice & had posters waiting for us after we ended our paper!:)) it was really a sweet gesture made by them,i guess. I think lit teachers are cool.:D

After Lit, the supposed class outing(which suddenly shrank to only SIX people) still went on & we got to eat FIsh & co. express food & caught "Body of Lies" at Ehub.

the movie was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!:))The storyline was really good even though leonardo dicaprio looked fat & ugly! Its quite cool how he's about to speak arab & only when he does that does my heart melts. But the coolest character is Haney,cool old dude with many connections & cool bodyguards!

After movies, we decided to relive our childhood & hang out at a playground!

Zah was yearning for a swing & me, for a sea-saw, & we found them both at the park!:D

2008-11-24T00:01:00.002+08:00

OMG OMG OMG

In 17 hours time, i'll be officially a free bird with nothing to mug for!

(ohhh..what a tragedy for a mugger!>_<) lol. i'm so excited/nervous to the extent i'm having a stupid tummyache, damn, i think i ate something bad today:(

i just came up with a theory that the side effect to me being nervous is to shit it all out:X a gross fact that no one needs to know, but i think it's true! i've been clearing my system super frequently throughout the As period. SIGH.

Anyway, i gave myself a terible scare at 6am in the morning! I thought today is MONDAY & i was gonna take my paper! Silly me thought i slept more than 24hr cos the last i remembered was my aunt asking me if i was having school the next day & receiving a sms from one of my girlfriends,to wish me luck! lol, how i panicked & sms rah to confirm the day!-_-"

anyway, i think im superwoman! i overnighted on fri night, went home the next day to shower & had a breakfast date with the famous five, who were all late! TSK, after that went for meeting with the youth wing & had a road trip around singapore in ahmad's car along with amanda,mar & alex. Classic, i can label ahmad as a super reckless driver like a effing true malaysian. swiwtching lanes like he owns the road -_-"

ohhh, how i cant wait for 5pm to strike & just scream outside the classroom! i can totally imagine,

"YOU MAY LEAVE!"

me:" WOOHOO!" *takes all 4 lit texts & throw them up into the air!*

or *Tear teh books page by page!*

hoho.. ok, i won't exactly tear my texts (OUCH, all the writers will roll in their graves, mind you) but i think i'll go hysteric for a moment! like the theory of two-legged womb, who cracks up with no warning! lol

& urghh..many ppl have ticked me off to go offline & sleep & stop facebooking.TSK TSK.

i was just gonna chill a bit & see soya's prom dress!& eye-candy a bit on facebook for good luck charm tmr.lmao, gosh im so full of shit(literally) that im having diarrhoea. oh no, what if i have to keep on going to shit during paper tmr!

maybe i should ask them to set up a table for me in the toilet.LOL.thats gross but how convenient!

uh oh, i have 2 weekks to workout baby! & ive got a recently sprained ankle so i'm forced to stop running :( so i guess ill have to find other ways to work out, maybe i can go through liposuction or some burn fats/ wrap or just eat slim 10 pills! -_-"

ok, i should stop ranting in randomness like winston smith in 1984! maybe i should have a reconstruction tonight like Offred in The Handmaid's Tale. OR i can be a femme fatale liek the women characters in Poe, or be a disgustingly weakling like Miranda in The Tempest & cry over my paper tmr.

tsk, enough nonsense. i should go sleep now

DOWN WITH DIARRHOEA
DOWN WITH DIARRHOEA
DOWN WITH A LEVELS!

2008-11-11T20:47:00.002+08:00

dark room,with the computer screen on & listening to emo songs.

setting, just nice.

"when i lose myself i think of you"

this line kept repeating in my head for quite some time already, & it's funny & i realise how stupid ive been all these while getting over you.

A levels has taken its toll on me, & i can safely say everyone is drained from studying our arse off the past few weeks. Good thing A levels was there to distract me, if not i think i'll keep thinking about things, but anyhow, i was still distracted towards the last part the math paper, of all things, a sudden thought of you, which has totally no link, but then again, the human mind is a complex one so i guess you can say it was one of my random thoughts all over again.

but it was a good thing that i had such a thought cos i had reflections all over again & this time i've thought it over, i'm totally over you. it's quite easy actually, i couldnt quite figure out why i needed like 5months to start realising it. yes, i would say maybe i was carried away with my emotions, but hey, you could say you had a role in it as well. it takes two hands to clap. so yea, i am back(: it may be bitchy for me to say this, but ive got to say that i deserve better,someone who will value me more, not someone who takes me for granted, and not only contact me as and when needed. i'm moved on with life and yea, there's gotta be more to life!:)

don't ask why i'm suddenly ranting about this, just wanted to blog it so that i can look back again n say, you did the right thing:)

p.s: maybe i got 'inspired' after talking & reading emo friends' blogs. haha, but yea, emofriends, the grass is greener on the other side!:D

2008-10-26T00:24:00.004+08:00

Fell in love with this song when i heard it on radio :)

and no, it's to no one in particular >_<

Love story- Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a life story - baby just say "Yes.'"

Oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

Oh, oh.

We were both young when I first saw you...

2008-10-22T22:41:00.001+08:00

I Believe

I believe-
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a
while and, you must forgive them for that.

I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe-
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them

I believe-
That you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe-
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe-
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there
had better be something else to take its place.

I believe-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time!

I believe-
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe-
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe-
That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe-
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced
who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other, And just
because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a
friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe-
That the people you care about most in life are the essence of life.
Tell them today how much you love them and what they mean to you.

2008-10-22T01:26:00.002+08:00

Ever felt lonely and feel that you dont belong at times?

well, i did. i mean do.

having lived in 2-3 houses and hopping between houses, i guess i just can't help but feel a bit strange each time i come back home after soo long of living at another.i guess it's quite a normal reaction,but not when you dont feel welcomed at all, and worse even having heard and to tolerate such hurtful comments like " go back to where you belong" whenever a quarrel ensues. dude, this is where i belong. but sometimes i really question myself, where do i really belong?is there even a place i can call home?(gee, sounds so national day-ish)

but really, sometimes i feel that my existence is not important and to the extent i feel insignificant. I just discovered recently that should i ever go missing, no one @ home (whichever house itll be)will notice until a few days after that cos everyone will think im at each others house. wow...i should just really conduct an experiment to prove my thesis.

but yea, it's quite tiring pretending to be strong and happy when all these emotional things get to you. its even worse when friends come to you to tell their worries, i mean, i really dont mind being a listening ear, but when is it my turn to be the speaker? yes, i have to say its my fault for cooping everything up and not sharing things with friends, but it's just hard for me to do it. not unless i put my full trust in someone, of which i can think of one or two. but i just dont want to be a nuisance or a burden to anyone in doing so. gosh..im in such a disoriented state now.

and fark, i'm getting damn farked up and stressed over As, i dont feel a tinge of preparedness at all nor confidence. i'm just so afraid to disappoint my aunts, teachers and friends. but most importantly,im afraid of disappointing myself, the taste of failure yet again,having the feeling of shittiness and regrets with questions "where did i go wrong?"

fark. i hate this feeling.

2008-10-22T00:48:00.004+08:00

each time i feel like ranting off on my blog, i hesitated, reconsidered and then proscrastinated.

tonight i will just do it, no more putting it off. not that it holds top priority, but that i just need to let it all go.

2 days of jogging didn't really help relieve stress, probably because i was struggling half the time with a flu & on the brink of suffocation. hoho, smart move malina, wait till road race incident happens again. *shudders*

the last time that happened, i felt soo scared,the only thought that came through my head was "damn, i dont wanna be one of those runners who died while running." i kinda regretted running for road race,hoping to get a personal best, only attaining a personal experience. lol,after the classic case of being sent to the hosp for hyperventilation, i told myself never to be a dumbass to risk my health ever again. oh boy,the promise was sort of short-lived, cos i still continued to run even on days when im having a bad flu & end up gasping for breath, thinking that i can let it all out & vent it while running. haha, just to sidetrack, nada created drama & ambulance dashed through the courtyard,ok, not considering the situation,when i first saw the ambulance, i felt that we were all a part of a movie, and it was all part of a film.-_-" me & my weird thinking. anyway moral of the story: don't run when you're having flu + don't gulp gallons of redbull. (i swear the effect of it lives up to the tag line, you'll feel like flying) last time i did that, it was block test,my muscles were twitching like it was all ready to sprint 4 rounds around the hall,or felt like the gears of a car. so yea, dont be a dumbass like me and do it.

anyway, all the silly things aside, i realised i've been rather cranky of late. I get agitated so easily , my tolerance level for people is slowly diminishing,it's scary cos i see myself turning into a monster,a bitchy cranky one,for that matter. freaky shit, i guess many of those taking As or under a lot of stress must have felt like this one time or another. i'm really sorry friends, if i appeared cold or snappy without any reason, really, blame it on As, it's the stress baby!

Many many things happen the past month & has been bugging me but i dont know where to start. allright, start with the part of myhp line being cut,cos my bills were overdued, and guess wat, i found out my lil brat of a cousin used my hp to dl some retarded games & also the internet. "ohhh..that explains the high bill." -_-" i swear i could kill her at the point in time. but well, i just got to give an earful of naggings to my cousin & thats it. What form of justice is that? I had to pay for her bill, cos i was nice enough not to tell my aunt about it. haha, now i have to start digging every shilling out of my piggy bank and scrouch every corner of the house to get money.lol, all right not that bad, but still, i gotta settle it damn soon.

that aside,i was just thinking about my life & all and reflecting how effed up it can get at times. life's been trying and i'm sure a vast majority of kids nowadays havent experienced life like how my family had. ohh well, life's like that some might say, but hey, that's not the effing point,easy for you to say,wait till you experience hardship. but in a positive light, let's just say im thankful for what happened cos i learnt to grow from it & build up my character.there's more things that i'd like to rant but i just cant bring myself to mention it all here.

next issue. talk about gratitude. sometimes i wonder why some ppl have lack of it, or rather none at all. i mean, at some point in your life, you will reach a point of realisation where you feel that you owe your life to someone, in one way or another, cos they were there for you or contribute to your lifestory at one stage or other. so it puzzles me how some people just dont show or express their gratitude. a mere simple "thanks" is sufficient. Just one word that can mean a lot. but well, i guess, some people arent sensitive to such stuff or maybe they forgot. a very weak excuse, but still, an excuse,as some may say.

2008-09-22T01:52:00.006+08:00

Malina is in the house!

Woohoo.. after being away for months from the virtual world, i am finally back from the dead ( haha, alright it's just that my com finally got fixed.) About time eh?
It was fixed on good timing cos it came back right after I ended prelims. WHEEE~

it's 1.58am in the morning and i'm still awake, though there's school in like less that 4 hours time, shucks, should i pon? hohoho..nahhh..no more ponning school!:D

Anyway, i just finished watching 'Becoming Jane' and it was a watchable movie, and gave me an insight into jane austen's love life. Educational eh? hehe..anyway, i watched 4 movies in total & since i've turned nocturnal, i might as well give a review of the movies I watched during my prelims break.

Becoming Jane

Here's a poster of the movie. OMG, I just love period dramas!The storyline is just so sappy & romantic, you just can't help but go "Awwwww.." each time the hero & heroine get together. LOL, plus its an added incentive that the hero is always so charming and H-O-T! For those who watched Pride & Prejudice & in love with both Mr Darcy(s),i'd recommend you to watch this movie!
However, i thought the movie can be further improved on , it's just like the feeling of watching the P&P movie version after watching the BBC drama sequel. If you just want to have the feel of romance, you can watch this:)

Rating: 3.5/5

Another Cinderella Story

Cute, Sexay Couple in the movie!

The hot,sexy dance every girl will dream of

Ok ok, this is a disney channel production:S yes, you may think this is like High School Musical, but hey, at least they don't dance in the canteen & basketball court as and when they feel like expressing themselves yea? lol, quite the predictable Cinderella story, just that the glass slipper is replaced with an mp3 player.
OK, bonus, the main characters are cute. Added bonus: they can both dance! :D for those who aren't really into dance, the salsa/latin routine will definitely change your mind after you watch this! The dance is sooo sexy you'll wish that you can do such a thing. I want a guy who can lead me in a ballroom dance!

Rating:3.5/5

Wild Child

Hot American girl with a Hot British dude

Ok, this was actually the 1st movie i watched on the new well-fixed computer:) Confession: i watched this as a time out break the day before my last paper! LOL, i felt so guilty watching the movie that I went to school to do chem MCQs after that -_-" This is a really funny,bimbotic chic flic movie. The storyline is quite alright, didn't quite expect the turn of events. I'm telling you, the actress, Emma Roberts is a damn good actress in acting ice queen bitch cum bimbo. lol, even better that that HSM blondie! (forgot her name) yeap, & after the movie, i totally wanted a British boyfriend! fell in love with his accent, kinda cool & sexy.hehe. BTW, it's more of a girl type of movie.:D

Rating: 4/5! LOL, maybe i'm biased cos it was the 1st movie that i watched after a long period of mugging, it felt good.

Other movies watched: Juno, Save the last dance 2, Mirrors ( at the theatre)

Gosh, all this is making me tired, & i just realised that this post is quite ermm... a rather light & written in a bimbotic & airhead tone?*sheesh* especially when i keep swooning over the guys. shucks, that's so disgusting malina:X But don't get me wrong, i'm not exactly boy crazy but i guess it's just a normal reaction considering i come from a jc where 'cute' and 'hot' is a rare word that can describe the dudes in my school. no offence eh, or lets just say i have my high standards for eye candies. LOL.

oh gosh, i really sound crazy & more stupid now.i ought to shoot myself.

fare thee well... till then!

2008-08-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

Reach

Some dreams live on in time forever
Those dreams, you want with all your heart

And I'll do whatever it takes
Follow through with the promise I made
Put it all on the line
What I hoped for at last would be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life

I'm gonna be stronger
Know that I've tried my very best
I'd put my spirit to thetest
If I could reach

Some days are meant to be remembered
Those days we rise above the stars

So I'll go the distance this time
Seeing more the higher I climb
That the more I believe
All the more that this dream will be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky

From that me moment in my life
I'm gonna be stronger
Know that I've tried my very best
I'd put my spirit to the test
If I could reach

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life I'm gonna be stronger
I'm gonna be so much stronger yes I am
I put my spirit to the test

If I could reach, higher
If I could, if I could
If I could reach
Reach, I'd reach, I'd reach
I'd reach, I'd reach so much higher
Be stronger.

2008-08-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

i'm mentally drained as well as physically drained...

it's been a long time since i rant out my feelings on this blog.

I don't know why, i'd rather express myself through writing rather than verbally sharing it with someone. maybe its just my way of communicating, as i often find it hard to express what i am feeling to others. my mood has been rather moody this whole week, with the stress from the school, and the expectations i have from myself.

I never imagined A levels to be so stressful up to a point of breaking down. Maybe i'm thinking too much, but right after the past 2 compass lessons on University admission, i was obsessed with looking for the course i wanted to take up & got overly worried about not being able to qualify for it. Thinking back, i think i was quite stupid to get so worked up over it up to a point that it was driving me nuts.

I was an emobird yest cos i was really stressed up from the state of realisation that prelims is 21 days away and e guilt from spending my nat day meeting up with friends for a break. I kept bottling up my emotions up to a point that even the slightest thing got me soo agitated that i broke down for a long time yesterday. Over what reasons, up to this point, i really can't find the right answer but i can safely say it was due to over-redundance use of my brain cells over stress and something that i found out about my late grandmother that got me thinking. yea, so i was overly emotional for the whole day,and iwas tired from tearing i slept for 3 hours. When i woke up from my emo state, i decided to get over it and called mar to mug overnight at the airport. thank goodness she was free & was waiting for me to suggest it if not i dont think id be able to survive the whole night in a stable state of mind. yeap,thanks love for the company overnight & going crazy at t3 macs! :)i'm so glad to having caring girlfriends to be there for me all this while :)

thanks jas,mar & bird 3 :)

2008-07-12T20:35:00.000+08:00

This is my 1st post after mid year exams. again, i'm at the airport, but this time i can have the time in the world to blog cos im using jas's laptop! woohoo! haha..anyway, my com is dusting away & still not fixed so i can't go online at all nor express my opinions on my blog.Mayb this is a blessing in disguise to show that i should just devote my life to mugging... and... ermm... mugging? HAHA...i think i finally caught the MJC spirit! MUGGER!Hell yea!-_-"

anyway, life has been rather mundane lately..i think if i'm an outsider reflecting myself i'll find myself a boring person! lol. but yea, post midyears aren't exactly the most exciting time of the year. Just one statement about my results, if you see it as a joke.

" I think i have this misconception that getting more Us means closer chances for me to enter the University!"

AH HA.

sure, it's effing disappointing, i spent the whole of yesterday mourning over the lack of marks i've got. (maybe i still think that i'm sitting for O levels, where the lesser the no., the better the L1R5.) haha, nahh, maybe i'm treating this as a joke now but deep down i know i'm already panicking and becoming what you would say as GAN CHIONG SPIDER. yea, alright i should get back to vectors now, just wanna bid farewell to the cyber world! (till my com gets fixed again)

and eff, it doesnt help being in emo mode every now and then...

But well, come what may, I still have no choice my work my arse off for the upcoming A levels, like it or not. The outcome of the game will not be determined until the very end. So, there's still a glimmer of hope :)

NEVER BACK DOWN!:D

2008-06-28T04:55:00.000+08:00

i've got 3 minutes before the com auto log off..
hohohow..

im the airport now....taking a break after doing math for the nite.. not very productive considering i was still exhausted from lit paper.

n yea...we all lost our virginites to our lit papers, as we got screwed. LOL
quoted by soya..

Mid years has been successful in driving me nuts.

n yea, i cant believed i was screwed so many times in a week!

by my papers la...
tsk tsk

N my dear girlfriends, my blog is not suspicious la.. hahaha i just choose to use it as a place to rant..
oh no 30secs lefts..

all the best to all for midyears!

may we not be screwed for the last 3 papers!

2008-06-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

AHHHH...2 more days till school reopens.

shucks..

oh no
ohhh noo

ohhhh noooo

ok... back to econs...

2008-06-20T00:36:00.002+08:00

Hohoho..i haven't been online for the past few days! Dont know if its a blessing in isguise cos my com crashed. ARGHHHH...anyway, if you're wondering where i am, i'm at the airport now with mariam @ 12.37am in the morning! lol, yes, im supposed to mugging my work now..but i just had to get online and touch the keyboards for a while. HOHO...

here's a spastic video for anyone who's feeling bored and needs entertainment:D

2008-06-17T02:14:00.002+08:00

ok first thing first..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARLISA DEAREST!

finally, of age, but still small & petite! :P hope you enjoyed the 'surprise' arranged for you!:D

and ok, yest, just a few hours ago, was unproductive cos i was buzy socialising with darling friends :S kept on talking to them to catch up with one another. gosh, i miss my friendssss! :( it's been a loong time since i had a decent convo with anyone, (aside from huiming & jas who are my gossip queens)

but today's socialising made me chance upon a scandal/rumour/ false news involving me and someone( i shall protect his identity,lol) It's really hilarious what people can think and spread without having any confirmation on things. hahaha...puleez, i'm still like single and available? MUAHAHA. it's quite amusing to think of it, how people can get the wrong idea about things. Don't they have to mug or sth? go back to your books where you belongs, A Levels coming dey!:P

and i went into antisocial mode after 6pm to go to whitesands macs to study, cos the bird hec was in his own antisocial mode as well. so yea, i was loneranger.

but hey! i got to eat the GREEN TEA MCFLURRY and its YUMMY!:D i love green tea!
and i treated myself to a happy meal cos i wanted the grilled burger and apples!
HAPPY MEAL FOR HAPPY ME!>_<

Aite, now i shall be off to type my Gp hw to be sent to Sophia Koh to mark. Urghh..double work,it's irritating how i didnt think of typing my work in the 1st place.

and later i'll be antisocial in sch again, cos no way am i going all the way to aljunied swimming club to mug with the birds huiming and hector.yes yes,i'm such a lazy bird.

2008-06-16T11:01:00.001+08:00

2008-06-16T01:20:00.002+08:00

Malina's rambling reflections-

i've always been inclined towards the human study & always wanted to take up psychology, just to understand our species & maybe get reasons why people behave in certain ways. Hoho, now, i'm not so sure myself whether i've got what it takes, or rather, the perseverance to keep up with the different, antics & behavior or different people, without getting affected over it.

I'm quite cool with friends coming to me to complain their woes & worries, just to provide a listening ear, or sometimes or another, give some advice & some comforting words. but sometimes, i just cant help but sink into the emo mode, but funnily enough, it doesnt happen until i get off the phone/chat with that friend of mine. Shucks, i think i can be quite the emo freak, just that it's hidden,overshadowed by my sometimes craziness. i don't know, i'm just not the PDE type (Public Display of Emotions)i just can't get how some people can easily show people their feelings, and can't understand further why they do it so openly as it sometimes affect the mood or rather, the whole spirit of those around them. I don't know, this is just my opinion, that it can be a rather selfish act of the individual to be a party pooper when they are in a group of close friends just out to have fun. haha, but then again, it depends on the extent of the problem that the individual is facing, and seriousness of it. Of course it cant be excused if the person is troubled with a bgr issue. but things like emo over nothingness & PMS can sometimes be irritating. ( yes, i'm a girl too, sometimes its just a biological cycle thingy that affects us, but surely you dont have your period all year long rite? haha. Pls enlighten me if u do)

Its weird how i can listen to people's problems and advise them on it, to keep their cool and not lose their heads that when it comes to my own problems, i can't even think straight. Haha, i can be a consultant for others' other than myself. Many a times, i've helped friends sort their r'ships but i just can't seem to get a grip on mine. Seriously,its damn ironic to think of it. and like now, it's really hard for me to express whats in my head and i just realise,i like to ramble abt general stuff and not even expressing what i'm feeling until the end or it'll be all over the place. haha, i just can't express myself very well i guess. and yes, my posts are rather long, cos i just cant get my ideas straight.

urghh... gosh i can't stand myself. i'm listening to superly emo, somber songs, that keeps me thinking (there's too much in my head i can't piece it all up)

[listening to-The Moffatts- Who Do You Love]

i've told this to myself so many times to let things be as it is, to go with the flow and not expect anything. But hell, it's not that easy as it seems,each time i see you, the same warm feeling comes again and sometimes its really a wonder,sometimes it ends up a torture, as the feeling haunts me back. haha,maybe i'm exaggerating it but that's the effect you have on me. They say Love is an Antidote, I'd say Love is a Poison.

I'm unsure of what my heart says. haha,the alchemist:"listen to you heart" i'm listening here, but all it says is lubbdupp lubb dubb. That helps, seriously.>_<

But i just don't get you at times, the things that you do at times can be so sweet and all, maybe you don't realise, but you're leading me on. I'll try to not let my guard fall, telling myself that you're just mr nice guy who treats girls well, and that every girl gets the same treatment, but its hard to convince myself that. I keep thinking to myself and have this dilemma of going into confession, but,hey, i don't wanna end up getting embarrassed and hurt and dejected. And confessing to a guy, excuse me for being traditional here, is just not 'right'. Maybe i'm not being very forward with my feelings, but like i said, im quite bad at expressing myself, not unless the guy makes the first move. But no, I guess its unrequited, and our feelings aren't mutual. So i guess i'm stuck in this same dilemma until year end when i don't have to worry about A Levels.

Boy, i don't know what you're trying to do here but you're affecting me. All your actions affect me, and yes, i do get jealous at times over girls you tell me about, and yes, it does hurt at times. Im not sure if you do suspect anythg but my girlfriend is just soo convinced that you do know. But , it doesnt quite seem to make much difference does it? Maybe you should just start realising who's been there for you all this while. But then again, if he doesnt realise it, then he's not my worth. ( As you can see, my mind is in a state of conflict right now)

I'm just so affected that you are not consistent with how you treat me( ok i admit, mayb i'm too sensitive) In a group of friends, you treat me like a stranger. But when we're together, i see a different side of you,n yes,i do like seeing that side of you. I can't believe i've been blogging since 2am and been thinking about you, about this for soo long. I guess it isn't very helpful here, but at least here i can express myself better for I cant seem to open up to people as easily as i can socialise with them, and my 'consultant' has her own problems to think of, and its selfish of me to talk about my problems.

Bahh..i guess i'm just too concerned about others that i end up getting hurt at times. Gosh, im in this mode where i can't care less and feel like drowning my sorrows. But doing so is just a temporary relieve,and it'll come back to haunt me. I just gotta sort this out.And figure out the music of my heart. Sure.

I wrote this at 2am-"and i think i have imsonia or sth. cos i can't get myself to sleep until the wee hours of the morning,when i have to be awake. gosh, what is wrong with me? i'm rambling nonsense now, the ideas are just flowing in my head"]

i think its true. I need to clear my head. haha, but i wont be so literal like britney as to shave her hair.HAH.

2008-06-11T22:33:00.002+08:00

Gosh..i'm always doing random things!
i just like seeing the flashing adverts on websites that catch my eyes & surf it.
lol, i just did a personality test from match.com

You are an EXPLORER / director

You are a skywalker. You love adventure, both intellectual and physical. And you greet new challenges with passion and bravery.

When you get interested in a project, you can become extremely focused on it, sometimes to the exclusion of all around you. You complete it carefully and thoroughly, often with great originality.

And because you have a lot of energy and tend to be enthusiastic about your ideas, inventions, and projects, you can be very persuasive.

You tend to like to collect things, experiences or ideas. (haha..this is especially true, i keep all sorts of letters & gifts, even chocolate wrappers from friends!) And you are eager to make an impact on those around you, as well as the wider world.

Although you enjoy people and can be charming and humorous, you are not very interested in routine social engagements or boring people. You are comfortable being by yourself, pursuing your own interests. (Quite accurate,I must say!)

People probably call you a non-conformist, an original.(haha, euphemisn for the word rebel?) You like to have good conversations on important topics. People tend to admire you for your innovativeness. You make an exciting, though at times distant, companion.

Ready to Take the Next Steps?
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Your Major and Minor Personality Types
Your major personality type = Explorer
Your minor personality type = Director

E-Explorer - 29% N-Negotiator - 16%
B-Builder - 26% D-Director - 28%

How your personality breaks out
Characteristics of all four personality types can be found within each of us, but there is almost always one personality type that is dominant. We call this the major personality type.

The Personality Profile also identifies your minor or secondary personality type. You exhibit some aspects of this personality type, though not to the same degree as with your major type.

Builder, 26%: Usually very popular. Deep attachment to home and family. Calm demeanor and low anxiety. Often consistent, loyal and protective.

Explorer, 29%: Known for high energy, high creativity and spontaneity. Seeks novelty, risk and pleasure. Intellectually curious and not easily swayed by opinion.

Negotiator, 16%: Excels at seeing the big picture, long-term planning and consensus building. An intuitive thinker who is flexible, verbal and socially skilled. Imaginative, empathetic and nurturing.

Director, 28%: Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non-conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient.

2008-06-09T23:14:00.002+08:00

ALRIGHTY PEOPLE!
TAPESTRY '08 IS BACK AGAIN THIS YEAR WITH A COOL NEW OUTLOOK!

If YOU think you can Dance, sing, play in a band, juggle, perform magic or just want to share your talents & get a chance to perform in the buzz of the city, Tapestry '08 is here for you!

Tapestry is a charity busking event that aims to provide a platform for youngsters with talents and at the same time,contribute for a good cause for the needy.

Background on Tapestry '07
Tapestry '07 was held in the streets of Orchard @ 4 venues:Wheelocks Place, Takashimaya, The Heeren,Cineleisure. It was a 2 days busking event that attracted many friends,families & shopping goers to stop and listen to the music performed by our volunteer performers. :) There was also an overwhleming response for the merchandises that we exchanged for any generous donations of $1-$2. If you're interested to find out more, feel free to go to www.tapestry07.blogspot.com/ to find out more!:) If you want to sign up for auditions, pls visit www.tapestry-08.blogspot.com

if you've got any queries, feel free to ask:)

Tapestry '08 poster

Tapestry '08 postcard! (Grab them at any ZO CARD Stand)

Tapestry '08 postcard(backview)! (Grab them at any ZO CARD Stand)

2008-05-24T12:46:00.002+08:00

*maktub.

* fate

Learnt this new word after reading The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. Such a simple word, yet it holds such a strong meaning to me. I'm quite glad to have read the book, and it finally showed to me a different perspective to the issue that i've been thinking about lately.

i guess, sometimes, i should leave it all to fate, as i'm just so tired of how things are, and how my efforts are not reciprocated. i guess if it's meant to be, then the time will come. as for now, i'm glad to have you as a close friend, and i hope the friendship remains as that.

anyway, new favourite song.

Tonight-FM Static

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

2008-05-21T00:42:00.002+08:00

the runaway

Plug in the mp4 to the playlist "Emo songs"
Sinks into the realm of darkness, feelings of emptiness engulfing her
thoughts keep running through her head
she is lost,confused,overwhelmed with the sudden gush of emotions
blinks back tears,sees the world again behind a facade
finds her form of escapism and
turns on the blasting music and drowns in the slow,sad music.

randomness-

and i have a bunch of emo birds as friends

2008-05-20T01:42:00.002+08:00

im still awake at the wee hours of the morning, guess what.. i wasted my 3 weekends away doing nothing. saturday was spent wasting time at ntu, thanks to the brilliant planning n overestimation of time by the higher authorities.luckily i didn't ggxx throughout the whole of the rehearsal, only during lunch!:D ok , thonning the night wasnt that a bad idea, haha cos i finally get to watch ironman! along with brian, christina n kevan:) after the movies, poor brian went home n christina, bird n i went to eat supper before going over her hse to thon! haha soo much for not sleeping cos the 1st to knock out was as usual the retarded dodobird, followed by me n christina. woke up 2hrs later to get ready to reach sch by 5.45am, n lois's dad sent us to sch! her dad's cool! he drives like tokyo drift! drift drift drift drift drift!

ok, i wasted my saturday night to meet my bffae,jasmine n brian(atlas) chill with them for a while n went home earlier cos i was quite stoned n emo at the same time.

Sunday wasn't soo bad.. i woke up 12 hrs later to chill at home n then prepare for my sis surprise bdae party. Gosh, i swear i can nearly strangle her bf for the ulu and distant location of the bbq pit! haha, imagine, carrying 2 packs of ice(5kg) plus 2 cordial syrups from white sands all the way to pasir park! & i walked there cos there wasnt any bus to the place(its near the road race area) i was tired n pissed (cos everyone kept calling for directions & my relatives were stranded at caprak E while i was at carpark C n expected me to fetch them) i nearly teared out of frustration. Luckily, my good sense of directions finally got me to the bbq pit n i put the barang barang( i think i developed muscles from carrying those) n went in the search of my relatives! haha.unfortunately, while i was looking for my cousin & his gf, my sis n her bf walked on the same path! there goes the surprise though we tried to cover it up! haha if not for my cousin & gf being thre, i think my sis wld have believed my white lie of looking for jasmine (haha cept that she was still home)

yeap, so in the end everyone found the bbq pit (though it caused me to walk to and fro many many times )n i got to eat mice bbq food thanks to my dearest cousin n dad! my galfriends(jasmine & mariam)pang seh me in the end,n i was sooo bored n out of place i called on bird(kevan) & blackcurrant(fazall) to join me cos they stayed around the area!haha pantat couldnt come down cos his dad was home so yea, he turned down my offer to get free food!:D chilled with the two jokers, fed them with food & after a while i parted with my family to go home with them, only to find that i missed the last bus!=_=" lucky my dad called n i had to walk back to pasir ris park to cab home with my family. so yea, it was a day of endless walking.

today was spent lazying around at home,as i thought i wouldnt have anything to do (i forgot the part that i have short term memory) i remembered at 7pm that i'm having a chem test on thermochem n studied from 8-10plus. then, i remembered that i had to send to myself the 2 essays i chiong on thurs (tempest & gp) only to remember that my com died on my & was sent for repair...so yea POOF! my efforts are now gone!:'( i'm supposed to chiong it now..but the thought of having to redo everything is sickening. but yea..i'll prioritise GP 1st :X

anyway, i should be staarting my essay now.. GGXX tomorrow. :S but yes, i'll go to school no matter wat!:D mark my words. (ok, if i dont oversleep)

2008-05-20T01:39:00.002+08:00

in love with this song currently. don't ask me why i'm in love with love songs.:)

i'm hoping that you'll one day fall for me

2008-05-11T14:42:00.002+08:00

He's so sexy!i'm in love with this song, haha, if there's any guy would sing to me this song, i'll melt! haha, anyone who has this song on mp3, send me pleasE:D

David Cook performing his arrangement of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby."

We were as one
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'll let you fly
'Cause I know in my heart
Our love will never die

(Chorus)
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinately
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're ever gonna shake me
Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave boy
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably, you'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end

(Chorus)

I know that you'll be back boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that you'll be right back baby
Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time

2008-05-11T13:09:00.005+08:00

Ever been in a situation where you're stuck in a bitch fight on the net? HAHA, the last time that occurred to me was in sec 1-2, just over trivial matters over track & girls' school rivalry nonsense.

I'm currently stuck in one now, just to help defend my best friend, who apparently got shot at cos some people think that she stole some girl's boyfriend, when in actual fact, the relationship was a goner to start with. but well, this endless banter is quite fun & amusing, cos the people who wrote nasty comments on my friend's blog lack in wit, and the comments they make are quite no link & amusing. HAHA, this is for entertainments' sake on my part. but, yes i do get f*cking pissed when slapped with the label whore for no apparent reason. haha, they want bitchy? they got it:D

Episode 1:The start of Bitch fight

XiuHui & Alicia are the friends of the girl who thought she was cheated. haha, i mean how moralistic can they get? But apparently, they don't realise the thing that they think are doing 'correctly' is just so ironic, cos they are helping their friend at the expense of hurting my friend and hurling abusive language at her. (not saying what i'm doing is right either ,but hey, at least i'm honest;) )

Episode 2

I intervened with this ,cos my friend was complaining to me about it. HAHA, it was quite fun to practise my sarcasm on these people. they're quite NOOB. and this girl whom i've been in a bitch fight with is soo poor in comprehending things. haha, i mean, c'mon!, you can insult better than that! & she has no idea wtf she's doing to herself, with the comments she makes. I like this classic line "at least my cock has fans and makes more sense"<-- someone just shoot me! I nearly died of laughter reading this! I mean ,HELLO, NO LINK?! and hey if anyone reading this understands what she was trying to say, please enlighten me :D maybe i'm not witty enough to comprehend this.:P

Episode 3
Alicia's poor rebuttal & defense. I wouldn't recommend her to be a lawyer, cos her client will lose hands down and waste their money on her.hehe, no offense girl, you're not fully utilizing your brain, it's such a waste of natural resources.

Episode 4
My bitchy reply to Alicia. I mean, i'm sorry, but one thing that irks me the most is when people call me 'maid', 'whore' or 'slut.' I mean, WTF? It's not that i sleep around or somethingg. It's getting personal man, i swear if i ever get to meet her, i'd punch her teeth out or something. HOHO. (Ok, that sounds violent but i hate claims that are not substantiated and empty)

This is my final counter-attack to alicia! haha, i kinda pity her, cos she's raally bad at comprehending whatever insults that were shot at her. haha so they say, ignorance is bliss!:P

2008-05-10T23:59:00.007+08:00

Whee.. had pre-u seminar stuff today, not exactly a worth of my time, neither was it fully a waste of time. Unfortunately, I had to endure Modulus's talking & voice nearly throughout the whole recce time there, yak yak yak away...

Unnecessary comments were certainly not invited, especially when it's all common sense. We wasted time, taking our own sweet time walking & listening to overemphasized points :D (if you know what i mean)

The highlight was LUNCH! where i got to eat my SUBWAY COOKIE!

But cookie monster kept staring at me cos i didn't give it some cookies :X

"Where's my cookie????"

Random Camwhoring...

Mas & I glad to be on the way back to school

While waiting for Shu Hui & Mas to shop for Mothers' Day gift, I made a new friend.

Anyway, blue birds had an outing yesterday consisting of : Bird 1(Kevan) Bird 2(Hector) Bird 3(Hui Ming) Bird Liaison (me!) & migratory bird that joined us (Brian) :D

Didn't watch movie in the end :'( cos it was fully booked *boohoo* but we ended up camwhoring & chilling at Esplanade.

At esplanade! Brian's heart was flying around..

His paper heart was stolen by Hui Ming & I!:D

More Camwhoring...

Again...

After Esplanade, we decided to go shopping..

Only to have Brian for Sale: On Display

Please handle him with care :)

Final photo before going home...

Camwhorers: Kevan,me,Brian,Hector

2008-05-10T23:14:00.002+08:00

Here are photos from

This is for my 5th SC:)
Missing all 32 of you & your cute antics!

COLOSSEUM!

2008-05-04T22:39:00.001+08:00

Obsession lyrics

Artist - Frankie J
Heard this song on the radio, and fell in love with it instantly.

Album - Frankie J

Lyrics - Obsession

Its early in the morning
And my heart is really lonely
Just thinkin 'bout you baby
Gots me twisted in the head
And I dont know how to take it
But its driving me so crazy
I dont know if its right
Im tossin turning in my bed
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin 'bout your beauty it makes me
weep
i'm feeling hopeless at home
I dont know what to do i think i'm in love
Baby...........

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
than what am i feeling
what am i doing wrong
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Its just an illusion that I have in my heart

Now I know you're not my lady but i'm tryin to make this right
I dont know what to do Im going out of my mind
So baby if u let me kick it witchu then well maybe we could ride together
We could do this all nite now I dont care if you got a man
Baby I wish you'd understand
Cuz I know he cant love u right, quite like I can
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And i still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
weep
i'm feeling hopeless at home
I dont know what to do i think i'm in love

[Chorus]
Amor no es amor (if this aint love)
then what am i feeling
what am i doing wrong
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart

I love the way you freak it like that
I love the way you freak it like that
I love the way you freak it like that
Its an obsession

[Baby Bash]
Hold up let me dream
Shorty got me feelin serene
Where my candy, where my cream
Got your boy feel less supreme
Hold up wait a minute baby you so damn independent
Loving everything your representing
Got alot of money, I love to spend it
And thats whats up and I dont care what people scream
No im blessin when im stressin
My superfly beauty queen
Im gonna keep it saucy
Cuz my ma know how I do, we go rendevous, MI CORAZON BELONGS TO YOU

[Chorus]
Amor ...no es amor (if this aint love)
then what am i feeling (what am i doing wrong) what am I doing so wrong [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart
Amor ...no es amor (if this aint love)
then what am i feeling (what am i doing wrong) what am I doing so wrong [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart

Amor

2008-05-04T22:15:00.003+08:00

Anyway, here's the dance that we presented during our final student's investiture.
Credits to dance comm. :)) for choreography & the rest of 5th SC for being "professional dancers" as quoted by some visitors ;)

Disclaimer: I apologize to whichever party that found some parts of the dance choreography offensive. In the script, i did not mean any personal attacks, but merely to express how we felt during our line in duty as councillors, and it was an expression in general. If there was any blaming-game of the people behind the whole 'expressionism' act, please do not pin-point my 5th SC as the script-writer was me.

The cool video that brought back many fond memories. (i nearly cried watching the video at home, knowing the fact that i wont be able to go crazy with this 32 people or do 'saikang' with them no more.)

2008-05-02T00:31:00.002+08:00

it's 12.32am in the morning and i can't sleep. this feeling of emptiness & confusion is just so frustrating its a big distraction in my head now. I can't seem to get myself to budge & continue with the pile of work i have left; though i know the repercussions are great & would even lead to me being chased out of class, but hell, i can't even think straight right now.

i'm emo-ing for no real reasons, and again the song "your guardian angel" had me changed into emo mode & i cant do work now. shucks,there's an overflowing rush of emotions that i'm feeling right now, i don't know how to put it in words.

"im going crazy thinking about you lately"
-KC & JoJo ,Crazy

that's what i'm feeling right now i guess. you're such a big distraction on my mind, i don't know if that's a good or bad thing.i'm in a state of confusion right now, i don't even know what im rambling about.this post is really gonna sound mushy or whatever you might call it,but i guess i feeling all emo cos i miss you n your presence. n yea, i'm unsure of what i feel for you now, so that what makes it worse. it doesn't quite make sense to anyone, but that's the whole idea, that love is complicated. but yea, i guess there's no point in thinking about it all the time when it'll do no good to my life now. i might as well go with the flow and leave it to fate.

anyway,i think i should be sleeping now cos my back is hurting again from carrying stacks of chairs yesterday after investiture.. i think i'm getting really old with the strained back bothering me. :(

2008-04-24T00:23:00.004+08:00

Another tiring day, practising the Investiture item with the SC. I can't believe that i'm about to step down in 7 days time. As much as I wouldn't mind stepping down to focus on my studies, i think i will definitely miss the times doing sc-related events, n just seeing my councillors.

haha, sc & i have a complicated relationship; a love-hate relationship. i hate it cos i had to sacrifice track n dance for it but i love it for the things that i get to do (sometimes) & the people i get to meet and work with. but well, every beginning has to have its ending and my life and my life as a councillor is closing in a few chapters.

Btw, i'm trying to studying here so i decided to motivate myself with this cool screensaver!:D

it started with this, when hector sent this to my hp.

I decided, nahh..i should emphasize on it.

Here you go! A nagging reminder on my desktop ((:

2008-04-21T23:00:00.004+08:00

School was rather mild today, having end lessons by 3pm and then having soccer cheering followed by Investiture rehearsal. I realise the one only tutorials which i truly enjoy listening in is Econs & GP, having Sarah Ee to entertain us with her sarcasm & Sophia Koh with her wittyness. Frankly speaking, i find math a bore & lit (aside from Dr S's lessons) a torture as it'll most likely drone me off to sleep :S Anyway, i learnt this interestinf fact during GP!

" Do You Know that in the 1970s, people believed that women actually own a penis, that is hidden inside out( of their thing)?"

LMAO. the many knowledge they teach in life ;)

Anyway, today is Nani's birthday & we celebrated with strawberry shortcake:D (of which half was used to smear on all of us) Ironically, i was the one who was greatly covered with cake even though it was not my birthday. I've washed my hair twice n i still catch a whiff of cake smell on myself. Yuck :S ok this is utterly random, but since we're talking about birthdays, i shall finally upload pics of MY birthday here after getting it from hector 2 months after my birthday:D

Haha..i just discovered about slide.com so I'm kinda enchanted by its effects! call me a noob, but hey! i don't usually do such stuff online!

2008-04-20T10:29:00.003+08:00

These few weeks has been rather hectic with colosseum trials & sc dance for investiture. Leaving school only around 10+ and sleeping ard 1+. i realise i've been very consistent in lectures- sleeping away right under the nose of the lecturers :X I seriously need to buck up after getting my CUE grades from MBT. hoho, but here's the best part...

((: WHEEE... We did it again! the blue bird soar above the skies!

SO PROUD of everyone! esp the cheerleaders who's been staying everyday to practise their routine.so well done to them!:D

-i feel like a goldfish living in a fishbowl

2008-03-31T00:37:00.003+08:00

i just attended a funeral this week. My closest neighbour a.k.a my mum's best friend, just passed away from a sudden heart attack. :( this came as shocking news as she didn't even have heart problems before this. :( this just goes to show how unpredictable life can be. when it's time for us to go, there's no warning for it. neither is there chance to say goodbye to even loved ones.

Ronin One More Moment Lyrics
Don't take too long to say
"I love you" to the ones you love,
cause time has a habit of slipping away.

Cherish your loved ones. Appreciate them, shower them with love.

-In loving memory of Aunty Doris-

behind a facade

2008-03-24T19:26:00.005+08:00

it's 4.28am, n here i am on the internet blogging away.i'm fully awaked now,after a good long sleep from 9pm-3am and a nice,cold shower. Shucks, i think i've been feeling rather down the past few days,it's really tiring and taking up a lot of my energy.

i had an early night cos of the raging headache i had since afternoon, due to the hot sun & also the buckets of tears i shed while breaking down.now to think of it,i can't believe i broke down in sch while talking to fiancee,jas, while we were just talking about our 'girlfriend's issue' when we started moving on to talk abt some things i was upset abt when i reached school late yesterday.

"you are hiding things from me, there's been many things going on,hasn't there?"

at this instant, i just couldn't contain the many problems i was facing, from home,school,relationships, & i broke down on the phone. it was a good relief having someone who finally sensed that i was feeling trapped. finally,someone who cared how i was feeling, instead of always hoping to see the strong,happy-go-lucky girl in school. it was a loong chit chat session of 1 hour that i broke down at the gallery, thank goodness no one passed by,or even any pe teachers, cos if not,surely someone will ask if i'm ok, n i certainly don't need that.

i'd say i'm a very private person, who doesn't like to show the problems she face, especially back at home.maybe that is why i prefer to hide behind a facade, preferably helping others solve their problems rather than my own, cos i don't even know how to solve them. So easy way out, escapade- whole day out,late nights out, mp4 plugged in,go running.

watever,talking about this makes me depressed in the morning, gotta start on my math tutorial & head down to school for house meeting @ 7.30am, if there's time, i think i'll go running 1st:D

2008-03-24T19:17:00.008+08:00

ahhh..i think i am going nuts.

i'm feeling super suffocated now, gosh i don't know why.todae was a good day turned bad. ok, i overslept and woke up at 6.30am, when i was supposed to be running at that time!shucks,the nocturnal habit has its disadvantages i guess, like duh, i slept at 3am. hoho.

anyway, i reached school in time for 7.15am :D haha, n i was rushing into the GO cos i thought we could put our bags there, n stupid idiot,taikeeboon, never even stopped me! haha, embarrassing!but yea, after that, we met up as a SC to do Invest. :) whee! our brilliant idea!hehe

i had fun with my class at my class picnic turned lunch.from botanics garden->padang->marine parade->east coast-> Terminal 3! LOL, how cute can they get? haha of course, e final decision was made by me:)) cos we were on 53, n i was telling them how i got to know we could enter the fountain area! so we decided to be caged monkeys & eat there.

2008-03-24T01:52:00.002+08:00

omg,it's 1.52am now, n i'm still wide awake. the nocturnal routine is really getting to me. urghh..haha it doesn't help that i am watching crazy alvin n the chipmunks videos on youtube. LOL,i've been an irritant e past hour to ppl online, kept distracting kevan from his mahjong game so that he'll lose the game, n talking nonsense to jun kai online :D haha, alvin n chipmunks sure doesnt want me to sleep!

i love this video best! the first one i chance upon!

my favourite getting crazy song!:) YOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

my current emo song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF84pIhP5UM&feature=related

n yes, ARE YOU READY TO STEP UP! to this version of low :D

k i'm going nuts here. i shd settle down to sleep soon. im going running at 6.30am in sch :D wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ok, but deep down i can't lie to myself.
i'm worried abt tmr.
as much as you assure me it'll be fine, i know you're hiding behind a facade.
take care,have faith :)i pray hard you'll be in good hands

2008-03-23T01:07:00.002+08:00

ok, so the ordeal i had to face has already past..MARCH BLOCK TEST '08 has just been over a few days ago. I realise many many things has been happening to me the past few weeks.HOHO

my darling,mp4 :)
guess wat! i forgot to mention that i got a mp-4,Samsung T-10! I'm in love with it! It's got a nice classy look that makes its so unique:D lol, i got to buy it at the IT Fair ,together with th other two doinks, brian & kevan.:D but well, it was a good deal done mann! i can use my mp4 to call ppl! woohoo:D cool shiet.

Mac's my best friend

yes, i've been overnighting at macs with my nocturnal muggers;kevan,brian,hector,jas + sometimes christina on alternate days. I can totally call t3 macs my 2nd home, n i think e staff are sick of seeing us there all the time.hehe, but well, i have admit i studied a lot this time compared to my previous exams.the mugger spirit is coming to me already.HOORAY! true blue meridian mugger by the end of june:D

girlfriends

ive been meeting up with my darlings,jas & mar nearly everyday, cos of some issues. but yea, i'm sorry that i've been busy last time,n wasn't there for you two in times of need. hope i can make it up to u right now alright,love you babeh!

2008-03-15T16:54:00.004+08:00

whoa, time realy flies and the last blog entry that i wrote in was last month.it's march now and block test is just 2 days away.. stress is really getting to me, having only one week to catch up with all the work i've missed from sickleave & orientation II. Urgh..24hrs is surely not sufficient for my revision for all my subjects.. n i did the craziest thing a mugger can do. i thon at the airport overnight for 3 nights consecutively! haha, i'm really into this mugging, and being a true blue mugger.

thanks jasmine,brian,christina,hector & kevan for being there to mug with me for the different days you were there. it felt better knowing that others are in the same state as me:) and really, thank you for always encouraging me each time i'm near to giving up or feel super stupid,up to a point where i dont believe i cant do it,thank you nocturnal muggers:) love you ppl!

this few days has been rather hectic,,crazy,fun,emotional one for me, i think sooner or later i'll be on the brink of going berserk.

the journey home is usually spent reflecting on what i want,a question that persistently bothers me, cos in the first place, im not very sure of it myself. there's many many things that i'd like to have/wish to happen , but it all depends on my consistent effort, fate n sheer dumb luck. shucks, life is great but all this uncertainty is making me worried over nothing.

iwanttodowelformyblocktestandshowthaticanmanagemytimewell, iwannaprovetomyselfthatiamcapableofachieving suchstandards,iwannabetheonetoshakelailai'shandwhenireceivemyAlevelsresultsand surpriseeveryonewhothoughtthaticommitmyselftoomuchtoscandneglectingmywork. iwanttohave thatfeelingofhavingdoneyourbestandgetingresultsthatthatreflecttheamountofeffort spentonitaswell.andinorderformetodowellijustneedtostoptypingandgetmybuttmovingtoget onwitheconomics.

my mind is saturated, i need to run.

i cant explain this feeling i think about it everyday.

iwishthatonedayyoullsoonrealisethatyourethatoneivebeenthinkingabout; doyounothaveanyideaordoyouwishtoavoidthis? imjustasscaredtothinkaboutitandthefuturebutitshardwhenyoureonmymindallthetime.

2008-02-10T13:34:00.000+08:00

i'm soo pissed now... this is another of those emotional breakdowns that i'm having this holiday. i realise i lead a rather complicated life. well, most normal children will have 1 mother but for me, amazingly i have 4 mums who look after me. haha, before anyone says "LUCKY YOU!" hold your horses (rather your comments,people)

i have my real mother whom i called ibu, eldest aunt called mummy,3rd eldest aunt called mak & youngest aunt called cik. so yea,the idea of having so many 'mums' is cool cos whenever you're pissed at one, you can go to the other to complain.(HOHO, sounds like a spare tyre kinda thing aint it?) but anyway, to be frank, i think i'm closest to my aunts rather than my own mum cos i'm living with them and seeing them more often than im seeing her.and this leads to rather sticky situations where some parties will question who loves me the most and all. (i mean i can't help it i'm so loved but yea, it totally sucks ) and there can be quarrels over the most trivial matters like todae, "who's buying the birthday cake for malina"

Seriously,it doesn't really matter if i celebrate my birthday or not cos i'm used to not even celebrating it at all. I mean my friends remember it & celebrate my birthday more than my family does. but, watever, bottom line is that i got into a stupid quarrel with my mum over a stupid cake cos my aunt insisted on my mum buying the damn cake -_-"

i think i have a very queer family who doesnt really care whether im living or dead. haha, i mean it's good that they "entrust" me the amount of freedom (if you see it that way) but guess wat, sometimes you just feel neglected and like a lost child. Imagine this scenario..

9pm,out with friends.

Handsphones start beeping / ringing. my friends take turns to answer calls by their parents asking for their whereabouts n all.stares at malina's fone *SILENCE*

my parents don't start calling ( wait, SMS i mean ) until it's 11.30pm? hohoh.. means i can enjoy the time in the world going home till late.if im a rebellious no-brain bitch. i'll most probably go loose clubbing & drinking at night or sth. Thank goodness i've been brought up the right way (thanks to my uncle & aunts)

sometimes, i'm green over the concern my mum gives to my bro, (nvm it's annoying she starts calling when its only 9pm) but it goes to show she cares abt him and that she remembers she has a son. sometimes, when im home early ard 9pm & she starts fussing over my bro not being home at 9pm, i'll suddenly ask " why are you so concerned? he's 14 already rite? i dont remember you even enquiring about me now, wait, not even last time" sorry call me insolent child or queen bitch but it irks me why i'm not given the same amount of attention.

it sucks being the middle child at times, you're neither here nor there. but then again, it aids you in your personal growth cos you learn to be independent and not turn out to be a spoilt brat.. like my rude insolent brother, and the many children nowadays.

2008-02-10T13:11:00.000+08:00

i'm very tired now.. i've been reaching home near 1am for the past 4 days,i think my parents think i'm some wild uncontrollable child or have a boyfriend or sth.LOL.it's hilarious to think of it, cos the people i've been hanging out with are mostly jasmine,girlfriend cum fiance n hariz the tweet. so no way either one be my bf-_-"

anyway, i've been missing my last buses it's freaking annoying that i have to walk home on my own, in the quiet,eerie roads of hougang. maybe i should get a bf so that he can send me home, no, a bf with a car/ bike so can we can not worry abt catching the last train/bus home.a bf will be nice enough cos he can help you hold your shopping bags, accompany you to places so you'll never be alone. haha, i think wat i really need is a personal maid that follows me everywhere:D at least a maid can cook for you but a bf can't (not that i think guys cant cook, just that they cant cook well!:P) but NAHH, a chaffeur will be the best solution cos you can always ask to be sent around everywhere.. woohoo..

ok, snap outta it malina. you've got your endless tutorials to do.

2008-02-08T13:49:00.000+08:00

addicted to this song:

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

-you don't have any idea, do you?

2008-02-08T03:31:00.000+08:00

Today was B-O-R-I-N-G!

woke up at 11am at my sister's croaking singing (ok, more of screeching) and my dad's persistent shouting for me to wake up to go for my family picnic -_______-" so much for sleeping in...urgh..i slept at 3am the previous night.(i think im really nocturnal)

ok, so i finally went to east coast @ 3.30pm with my sis,n we came just in time for the family to pack up. wheee...how welcoming. so i forced down food quickly n went for escapade, pang seh-ing my sis to go rollerblading on my own. nearly got into an accident with some old aunty who doesnt know how to walk straight. Worse was i was going downslope n had difficulty stopping. Lucky i was quick enough to turn n avoid her pantat, if not i think i'd be at a&e again.

met up with jas n hariz after that & we had a crazy thought to go to the airport & we went there!:D hahaha, we only managed to eat our dinner before we realise that we had to catch the last train, urghh.. so i was separated from hariz n jas cos only the train to pasir ris was left.:( took train to pasir ris @ reached @ 12.15am, realised i missed the last 109 bus, n was contemplating whether i should cab cos i think i spent $50 yest as it is. Yea, i called jas up & found out the 53 that was coming was her bus! how lame is that, i could have taken bus with her at the airport from the start -_-" took the bus with her & alighted at the factory area, before ,out of nowhere, 89 came! phew! save me a cabfare. took bus all the way to hgang mrt, before i realise i missed the last 325 bus :( so i had to walk home alone.shuckss..i ought to apply for my bike license soon~ *vroooooomm vrooom!*

yeap, im meeeting up girlfriend tmr again after my nephew's bdae party! haha, mayb staying out at airport till sat morning :D

anyway...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

2008-02-07T02:43:00.000+08:00

urghh..i just washed my hair yet its still sticky & hard :S all thanks to my dearest hairstylists for cny, shane kevan & janice who put soo much of chemicals on my hair ( after all, hair gel+wax+hair spray+ my own hair moisturiser arent the most best combination ever)

anyway, i am soo happy.. TODAY'S the last day of SCHOOL FOR THE WEEK! woohooo.. no lesons till next monday! means ill get this chance to have my >8hr of sleep for the next few days :D ohh talk abt being happy, callisto got 1st for cny! GREAT JOB BLUE BIRDS!quite surprised that we got 3rd for the cny performance, considering we were very unprepared for it, taking a total of only 3 days to get things done :) yay, finally, the house gets a reward for all the hard work put in:)

anyway, today was quite a loong day, this year cny eve is quite different from the usual boring ones i had the 17 years of my life cos i end up going home by 4pm cos my friends (mostly chinese) will have to go off early for reunion dinner.

I ate lunch with yw,jon,shane,hector,brian & sylvia @ Swensens', pasir ris. Sheesh, never go to that branch! they cheeated me of my money :( my mushroom cream pasta was soo watery, im so upset over it.. so moral of the story,don't go to the swensens at white sands if you're a fussy eater like me

met up with girlfriend/ best friend forever ,jasmine ho at orchard! we started to chill at lido benches,directly in front of the entrance of one of the of the cinemas. That means we both could see the trailers as the curtain was open. haha, stupid me had to open my big fat mouth & exclaim loudly " EH! I CAN SEE THE TRAILERS" and the ticket uncle grew all possessive and closed the curtains :( haha, stupid selfish man, he is soo persistent that he kept closing the curtain as soon as he sees a gap coming from it -_-" wat a retard.

haha, and so after that i met up with girlfriend no. 2, manda to chill for 1 hr.LOL, she wanted me to sign some cip form for her. hoho, i felt soo important sia! hahaha, so much for me being the "programmes manager" when it's supposed to be sidek. :D but yea, i accompanied manda to bugis street to buy her shirt. Bugis street has cute shirts! lol, there's this shirt with adidas logo but instead of having the word adidas imprinted on it, it says "adios" LOL.how corny. I especially like this particular design that has one silhouette listening to mp3 n sitting on the toilet bowl with the word:"IPood" LOL. i should buy the shirt!:D buy yea, suprisingly, bugis street was quite empty. phew, less tendency into bumping into sticky,smelly people!

haha, after manda left, i met up with bird to go cny shopping at bugis street. went round many times before we can find nice things from the shops that were open. Im so sad i didnt get to buy anything cos the shop that i wanted to go to was closed :( anyway, we bump into sherman n miao & charlene who were cny shopping as well! haha, charlene become lightbulb la :P after shopping,we decided to play pool @ hougang cos it was near my house. But stupid us didn't think that pool people needed to go reunion dinner. hohoho, waste of time travelling :X so we had dinner(malay food!:D) and decided to watch cj7(i think that's the title) omg, hilarious show mann! the humour is super classic lameness! haha, but the storyline was quite sad at the same time,i teared at the part the small boy cried for his daddy :S yeap, went home after that cos it was getting late, n i reached home @ 12! haha,1st cny i come home so late. whee..

2008-02-07T01:13:00.001+08:00

HAAPY belated 18th birthday to me!:D

LOL, last two days have been rather hectic with cny n studying for tests that i didn't even manage to celebrate my birthday properly :S

anyway, i enjoyed my sweet 18th birthday anyhow. thanks everyone who came to sing me birthday song or sms me :) all the smses made my day! :D haha, i didn't receive that many presents but all the simple gestures by my friends were just so heart-warming :))

anyway, 4th feb started off rather well with smses stringing in from 11+plus onwards to wish me a happy bithday :D bird bird called to sing b'dae song with his ever croaky voice, at 12am as well. haha, then i spent my 1st part of my birthday till4am completing tutorials cos i wanted to be a good girl and spent some time revising math as well. How ccool, math test on my b'dae -__-"

anyway, one of my girlfriends didnt go to school cos she was sick :( the day started of with zah n i going high in class during recess, making fun of my new liberal age of 18 and my ability to buy alcohol and cigarettes LEGALLY >_< zah's craziness lead to her ever brilliant idea of a birthday flush for me -_-"

zah:let's have a bdae flush
jan,clare,kat,me: wats that?
zah: we sing her a birthday song, then after you make your wish you flush the toilet
me -_-"

So thats wat my dear beloved classmates did in the 3rd level handicapped toilet for me. hahha, rather corny thought but it was cute! hohoho.it was my 2nd bdae song
3rd bdae song: my class went down for lunch and we sat at the long table. while i was eating with them, out of the blue,they started singing "happy bdae" song to me! haha.. sweet of of 07a201! wats e cool part was that there was enthusiastic j1s around who joined in the birthday song. hoho, the canteen sang me a bdae song. i'm honoured :P

4th bdae wish: nani & nada called to meet me at the canteen to pass my present :D in the end, they bought a slice of blueberry cake from the stall along with a nicepuma tote bag:D hhahaha, nada attempted to sabo me with the cake but i managed to dirty her more.

and fuzzy was soo sweeet!!! he actually went ard for hours to look for my bdae present after school, and pass it to me that same afternoon :D thanks fuzzy!

5th bdae wish: After the cake saboh I, we rushed to lt1 for math test. right after math test, pantat made annoucement "all sc, pls remain behind for a short whilefor a meeting" right after that that pig went on to say "people, todae is malinas bdae, let's sing a bdae song for her!" haha,thanks for the song sc!:D and to kevan for running to west plaza during recess to get the cake :)
saboh part II: i was made to eat the cake without using my hands (all of them of intention to smash the cake in my face, but it was a failure cos the cake was cold n hard:D)

bdae wish: stayed behind for callisto cny performance, cos we only started our stuff only the day before and had many things to do,so we stayed till 9+pm to do the costumes. haha, callisto has such good designers :P

saboh part III: stupid malina got tricked so easily by karen & steph & jan:S i was drenched from head to toe with water cooler(which was so freaking cold)

karen: malina, can u help me with the design for the zodiac squirrel?
me: huh? oh wat do u need help with?
karen: pours water over me from the back!

after some time then do i realise there isnt a squirrel zodiac -_-" malina is so retarded...and i got another bdae song from the callisto birds :D and a guitar sung one from khai n friends who were randomly singing songs at the atrium and suddenly sang bdae song. haha, how nice of them.

so after cny, we went to makan dinner cum celebrate my bdae :D wheee..i had a 3rd cake from mc cafe + meal blanja by the dudes (kevan,shane,hector,brian) and junkai n quek joined us as well! whee.. we took some pics using hector's camera but he hasnt uploaded them yet :S after everyone left, pantat, bird & i stayed at macs to mug like a true meridian mugger!:P the two porks had chem test to study for while i had p&p to chiong for... so we mugged till 12am n left for home after that. woohoo..that was how i celebrated my bdae...memorable eh :))

2008-02-03T15:32:00.000+08:00

woohooo..i just ended OGL CAMP II yesterday... plain relieve that it went all right.. at least it ended with a bang..unlike ogl camp I that i headed :(

ROARRs.. i slept for 14 straight hours..WOOHOO..12am-2pm, it felt good :D hhaha i deserved the much needed rest after having less than 2 hrs of rest the last few days.. anyway, i felt soo much more relaxed this camp..and had a blast! did many fun,crazy things...

1) i slept at lailai garden with nani ,at the new benches:D (despite the drizzle)
2) i got free popcorn from one of the manhunt contestants during their roadshow, while walking with group 4 for mmm.. (drools over hot bod)
3) ran from somerset to orchard in a big group;while holding balloons
4) kept singing "CRANK THAT" with nani & jun kai after camp :D
5) in the "indian mode" and sings "twinkle twinkle little starsssss"

ok, i kind of forget tomorrow's my birthday cos i was soo tired & into ogl camp till i got a reminder sms from sheqal :D thanks buddy!

i want..
- a new hot wallet!
- a new backpack that i can use for school
- new shoes (my nike dunks are dying)
- a visor :D
- more shoesssss
- a shopping voucher that i can go shopping for!
- my red adidas waterbottle that i lost during O1 :(
- a new pencil case :)
- a nice, double choco fudge cake( YUMMMMM!)
- YOU :P

ok, enoughh, back to maclaurins and intergration.. shucks..

back to reality

2008-01-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

MJC just had it's road race for 2008, n i missed out so much of it :( Like last year, this road race was just as 'eventful'; in a different way :X

i got my 1st ambulance ride of my life, but i'm not exactly proud of it
i got my friends and sc worried sick till some of them cried :S

yea..to sum it up, my stubborness took its toll when i insisted on running for road race, even though i was having a badd cough & flu.

yea, you could say it was plain runners' pride/enthusiasm. I didn't know wat i was thinking but,yea, i wanted to run the race cos 1) i haven't run for 1 week + 2) I haven't run a x-country event for a while 3) i was just looking forward to it :)

so these are the stupid reasons that ended up in me running for the race in the end. & it got me gasping for my breath halfway during the race...n ended up cramping everywhere :( gosh, at that point, i really regretted not listening to everyone who told me not to run at all..instead of being the one who usually treats nada to her case of hyperventilation, i was the patient for once (hope its the last time)

i'm sorry to have caused trouble to everyone who was there at the turning point,trying their best to help me calm my wits down n trying to make things better. really sorry to make everyone worried sick & have friends even crying (sorry mars & nada)

i was brought to cgh in the ambulance,along with nada n mr hon in it. It was really unneccessary ( i feel) to bring me to the hosp. for a case of hyperventilation, but well, it's SOP -_-" & because of SOP, i had to take x-ray for chest pain & end up wasting time & $70 from being asked stupid questions by stupid doctors. "Do you smoke?" gosh.. yes i do, i'm a passive smoker >_<

"next time you feel that you feel that you gasp for breath while running take a plastic bag n breathe into it"

oh WOW, great advice doc, i dont even need to be a qualified doc to know that. wtf. i told ms choy & mr hon abt this, n ms choy said " next time when u run,i'll make u hold a plastic bag in your hand!" lol.joke ahh this pauline choy.

but yea, this whole incident make me realise how impt it is to sometimes use my brain instead of always wanting to run & when to stop when i can't do it. & yes, i realise i really have people who really care about me. thanks my darling friends who called/sms me to ask for my health.

and i'm especially touched by the sc & friends who went all the way to cgh to see how i was. how sweet of them; i really appreciate all your concern people!

thanks to..

nada bte ahmad khalid! haha, yes woman, finally we're even yea, thanks for accompanying me in the ambulance! it was funny la, seeing the doc ,with mr hon n ms choy cracking lame jokes.

mr hon! thanks mr beowulff for accompanying in the ambulance even though we all know you came for the aircon :P thanks for wheeling me around the hosp(though you just enjoy doing so!) hahha

ms pauline choy! thanks for bringing our bags to hosp & heading down to see how things are :) haha, & i realise you're not so scary after all :D

mr owen tan! thanks for heading down to the hosp to see how i was :)

my classmates;esp, sally-jie,mel kang,jon & yong wen! thanks for heading down all the way to the hosp darlings! thanks for the thoughtfulness & buying me healthy snacks to eat :P love 07a201!:)

friends; jj,hector & kevan! thanks blue birds for flying down to see how i was! :)) haha, didn't expect yall to be there, but yea, thanks dears :)

5th sc;especially QUEK,kelly,ah ma,jo,ching ying who came down especially to see how i was & personally to pass me the team medal :)) (haha,not bad eh, i got a medal when i didnt even run!)

mjc rcy; thanks for treating me at pasir ris park :) sorry if i caused a panic frenzy on yall.. but yea, thanks agaiN!

2008-01-23T12:48:00.000+08:00

2008-01-20T09:57:00.000+08:00

It's yet again another end of the week, and i survived the crazy hectic week! WOOHOO *taps my back*

ok, i nearly drowned out of exhaustion this whole week, juggling school & sc & my own track trainings altogether. seriously, sometimes i gotta get it outta of my head i'm not a superwoman , and that there's a limit to what i can do each time. Urghh. get it outta your head malina.

anyway,i shall update since sunday;

Sunday 13/1/08

I was stalked by some pervertic arse from punggol to whitesands. WTF. omg, i thought punggol was safe from these weirdos unlike my own hse, that's very near IMH. So i thought wrong. :S and yea, i was still traumatised by it when i was telling jas & kevan about it online. hurhur, that guy must be really desperate or just plain sick, cos i was just in shorts n t-shirt.and jas still thought i was kidding when i smsed her abt it -__________-"

I skipped ching gay cos i was pang seh by jasmine & hariz, both of whom did not inform me earlier. urghh..i was quite irritated by that cos of the last min changes n all ( & i hate disruption to my plans). it was rather stupid, i was stuck between doing the right thing to go for ching gay prac alone or to just continue my chem revision. So i decided to go for ching gay (this was before hariz told me he was @ sentosa) so when i was at tamp mrt, i rcv a text from hariz saying" sorry babe, i'm at sentosa" oh crap, so i chickened out n went back to pasir ris to go all the way to seng kang cc to finish up with my work. & there i was stranded cos there was a thunderstorm ard 6pm-7pm n all the benches were wet. So i was like a hopeless ,lost loser walking ard the pathetic place that has no other shelter along with others that didnt bring umbrella. funny, i saw syaz, khairi,sari & hafiz stuck at the same building. LOL. so i finally decided to just walk in the rain cos if not ill be stuck there forever -_-" so yea, i finally settled down to do my assignments at 2am? LOL, so i chiong 2 econs essay & 1 lit essay till 6am. :D whee..

Mon-Wed 14-16 jan

OGL Interviews! haha, kinda boring for 1st 2 days cos there were TAs around:X hehe, as in i must be more conscious of the things i ask the candidates to do. lol, all this kiddos kept targetting me for the situational segment, cos i'm the most extreme exaggerated amongst sandeep,janice & i.:X so wth, i'd say they're good at putting up a front.:DD but sadly, i can't have the power to take all 84 applicants :( and i kept going to macs to study with pantat (ok, do homework) cos we both know that once we reach home, we will zonk out & not do work. So yea, at least i did work.

Thurs 17/1/08
thurs was a killer cos I had 2hours of sleep, doing my homework, doing up proposal for dance finale & trying to study for chem :( So we had our chem test on thurs, which was after pe. Stupid malina, as usual, wanted to vent her tiredness on track(see the irony of it all) so she chiong her 2.8km. well done! only towards the 3rd round i realised i should just relax and save the energy for the chem test, but well, too late :(( so when i went into lt 3, i was already in my zone,into space. & i coudln't recall anything at all. Not even after studying it last sat n the night before :( i think i will be getting a 0 for the paper, sorry mr cheang.

school ended early ,thank goodness! :) but as usual, there were unsettled house liaisons stuff to do & dance finale to discuss. shu hui,haoyan & i were suppose to discuss earlier of the storyline n all, but it was only haoyan & i who were there. So, we decided to wait & nap while waiting for the whole comm to come down. haha, i felt guilty as 2nd ic so i decided to surf the net to look for inspiration for dance finale. haha, didn't get much outta it and decided to nap... i was just going into the realm of lalaland when shuhui came into the sc room :'( and then i got a call from stupid bird bird to discuss the shortlisting of ogls. urgh, the life of a house liaison. we settled the list quite fast cos we were efficient ppl! lol, and i stoned there till mars called me up for meeting. haha, getting escapade from work.

so we had meeting for awhile & decided to come up with a storyline. sheesh, so much for nth.lol, so we left school ard 7pm! WOOHOO, i could still see the sky being so bright. lol, an improvement from always seeing dark sky n the moon. pantat & i went to macs to do work again & i reached home @ 10plus :D i think i was quite proud for being home 'earlier than usual'.

friday 18/1/08
TGIF! haha, i didn't do much homework the previous nite, and met my partner in crime @ 7am to let him refer to my econs workbook.lol i'd say he has gotten an unreliable source :X so we had lessons till 12.45pm, n i stoned at sc room till 1pm cos we were supposed to complete the events board. The results for ogls were out & some ppl were unhappy being reallocated to other houses :( they took 8 of my callisto ppl to phobos & triton. lol, can't help it that we've got potential ogls that we exceed the quota :P but yea, i'm gonna talk to them on mon to do some damage control, ok not really, just to see if they're ok being in other houses n all. :)) so lady boss & i will talk to them tmr before the ogl meeting, cos stupid bird has lessons.haha.

Ok we finally completed the stupid events board @ 5plus! WOOHOO, that's one thing off for mars & I. Now we only need to be stressed over the dance finale. lol. YAY, i love PA:)) its kinda true that pantat says 3/4 of the pa are committed to sc & are always the sai kang warriors, n he pointedly say callisto councillors are the most hardworking people. LOL. no comments, i shall accept it as it is :P anyway, i lost e school memory card for camera :(( i think one of us accidentally threw it away :(( and i had to replace it with the pay i just got! $80 mann, wtf. sorry soya melon, i had to spoil ur plans to go out to take pics. so after going everywhere + digging out the dustbin, i gave up the search for the missing yellow memory card. & soya waited for me to complete my self-training for track.

my schedule: 10x60m uphill lunges (2opush ups in between each set), 5x50 lunges jump & 5x10 high knee thingy

ohh boy, it really tested my discipline doing the schedule on my own.MIND OVER MATTER. seriously, im quite proud for accomplishing that on my own, with the encouragement from music on my fone and the voice inside me. :)) i need to regain back that strong mental that i had in sec 2 to persevere & have high motivation to train.. and yea, soya n i hung out for a while ,talking abt everythg under the sun :))

From soya's blog:
Thanks for accompanying me to White Sands earlier. Hmm, it's not entirely your fault it's lost and heyy, the process of trying to find it and when we gave up on finding it and the small talks we had was kinda thrilling. Lol! (And while I was waiting for you to finish training, I planned to decipher the comparative poems but hoho, my thoughts drifted to SYPA. So exciting!) Anyways, don't blame yourself, aites? At least we replaced it at last but hoho, we so needta find a job during CNY.`

I am absolutely sure that you shout out the first word of that song at the atrium before abruptly shutting up. I’m still trying to figure out what is the meaning of all these. I realised that although I see you everyday in class (I think I sit beside you almost everyday lah) and eat meals during break together, I don't actually talk to you much. I miss having chitchat sessions with you, sayang! We must hang out one day with the other two to catch on with on another's lives tau! (excluding academics, yes.)

i personally missed all my girlfriends n we don't seem as close to know abt each others' lives & just hanging out in school. :(( that's not enough mann.. we should have a babes' day out ok! during CNY! haha, opps, no, that will be the time when soya & i work off the $80 for the stupid yellow memory card :( but yea, i miss you girlfriends!

Saturday 19/1/08

Saturday was spent like last sat again. I was supposed to go running with kevan & fuzzy@ 7.30am! but one finally woke up @ 7.15am & the other came at an indian timing of 8am. LOL. so yea, i was stood up by two guys in the morning.hahaha, lucky soya was there to take pictures. I think i ran a lot. while waiting for fuz, i chiong 2 rounds,when fuz came i ran 4 rounds, when qian wen & jo came i ran 4 rounds again. so i ran/jogged for 10 rounds =4km :D haha, i think running is the only thing that keeps me going. So the soccer guys came, & i got to see hottie senior upclose! LOL, all thanks to soya who smsed me that he was there already, so i decided to go with joanna to canteen to buy food to feed the hungry ghosts( kelly,qqian wen, jo & i) hoping to get a glimpse of him. AHHH, when we were walking back from canteen, hotshot turned n looked at us. *MELTS* lucky the springroll never rolled out of my hand. LOL. So we had sc meeting till 11am, quite fruitful & i'd say, sc ppl are another reason i keep going to school. haha, all the jokers like 3 little pigs, house liaisons, ah jian etc. so funny bunch of ppl to hang out with :D

I rushed to bank to get $300 out to give $200 to my aunt for safe-keeping & $80 to soya for the memory card *heart aches* the queue was effing loong, i queued till 12.30pm before i got to get my monehh. hhaha, iwas so exhausted from training consecutively & lack of sleep i actually sleep standing in the queue. LOL,so embarrassing! Cos it was up to a point where my knee gave way & i nearly fell. :X and it was cos of the stupid long bank queue i didn't get to see hotshot otw back to sch :((

i went to elias to buy lunch for soya & i. chicken rice for me & wanton noodles for her! ahah, after eating, i was still tired i went to sleep till 1.30pm, and did some math revision till 2.30pm till i gave up and told soya i was damn tired and was going to nap till she ended revision. haha, nice old soya made me go home instead. to sleep cos she knew how i was dying the last few days :( haha thanks babe!

2008-01-13T11:00:00.000+08:00

Soulmate- Natasha Beningfield

[Soulmate lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

Incompatible, it don't matter though

'cos someone's bound to hear my cry

Speak out if you doyou're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable

is already in my life?

right in front of me

or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

who knows how to love you without being told

somebody tell me why I'm on my own

if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end

how do I find the perfect fit

there's enough for everyone

but I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

who knows how to love you without being told

somebody tell me why I'm on my own

if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory

They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

who knows how to love you without being told

somebody tell me why I'm on my own

if there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

who knows how to love you without being told

somebody tell me why I'm on my own

if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

2008-01-12T22:22:00.001+08:00

OK im spamming my blog! but i realise i haven't written a post for my dearest, "i know you know" buddy, FUZZY!

LOL, fuzzy is requesting me to write an eulogy about him, lol, ok, since im seriously bored n stoning, i shall do just that :P

Ok here goes..

Fuzzy aka King Kong Kepala Hotak (KKH) aka kerbau, i'm gonna miss your presence during SC meetings + after SC meetings to go makan n your favourite opening line "let's bitch" LOL. I 'm gonna miss all the crappy nonsense we laugh about during meetings + house liaison shitwork that we five have to do, burning the midnight oil & stressing the heck outta us during OGL selection. I'll miss all the bitching sessions we've had each time we meet up, to always exchange info on anything we can think of! haha, ok dude, i realise i've repeated the word bitch twice already, so yea, you're my fellow bitching partner!

and HEY, don't ever think that even if you're not officially in sc, you're not a part of us anymore aite! we came together as 33, & it remains that way! :) don't be a stupid bird bird to think that you can't join us & hang out n all k! We're always there to welcome you, no matter wat lai lai says. HOHO. reminds me of lailai/esther's garden.

and hang in there, i know it's tough to hold your head up high like nothing happened & having to start from scratch, but hey, we are all faced with challenges everyday. remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger yea! & maybe you can develop that mus-cles into muscles! WOOHOO. okok, minus -100 points.lol

but yea, keep the spirits high aite, never allow anyone to affect your morale aye :) if you need a listening ear,i'll be there ok!

and thanks sooo much for always being ready to be a listening ear to my nonsense complaints & my crazy moodswings & for always suanning me together with your brother ah jian -_-"

haha ok dude, brain jam now ahh, ill add on to your eulogy:P another time aite ;) funny i'm chatting to you now :D

2008-01-12T22:12:00.000+08:00

Whee! I finally got from hazrul the COuntdown photo we took during the outing!
haha..a bit lag ahh but yea, i spent my new years' making friends with friends of friends :D sad he only sent one photo though, but heck, 20th Jan there's another gathering! Whee i can't wait to meet all the crazy campteen people & friends! :))
i miss campteen *sobs*

3rd row(from left): Joshua (he's hot!)who's kevin's friend, Salihin,Han, Kevin,
2nd row(from left): Ron,Jas, Kenneth the magician, Kelana who's Hazrul's friend, Hazrul, Eden, ermm.. Hazrul's friend who's name i forgot :X, Justin!
1st row: me :)), sam

11 crazy dudes + 3 dudettes chilling outside Swissotel for Countdown '08!

2008-01-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

Woohoo..my 2nd post for the day & month! i wanted to blog about orientation but well, it seemed like ages ago & stale i shan't waste my efforts typing. :D ( ok, im in a lazy mood now)

Today was rather fruitful! :)) i went to school @ 7.15 am to meet kevan & fuzzy to go running! WHeeeeeee..! ok, the combination is rather random but i wanted to go train after not exercising for 4 days for being sick & so did kevan & i pulled fazall along cos he pang seh me the previous time! LOL,hey! i was being a nice friend to helkp him achieve his goal to lose weight ok! (ok, i was tempted to call jun kai the pantat along to run cos he kept saying he wanted to run whenever i go running but end up eating at the corner to cheer me on -__-") But being a nice person, i decided to spare pantat for the day cos i didnt want to disturb his sleep @ 1.40am :D

& i really think the main gate /school has a problem with me! haha, i came @ 7.20am & the school gate was locked! WTF.. not the 1st time sia! that time it was admin day, now, just a normal saturday :S i was super tempted to climb but i know the school set alarm & i didnt want the alarm to be activated.I totally dont need another embarrassing moment + getting into more trouble! haha..so i was obliged to walk one round all the way to side gate & found it lock as well. (ok duh~) & stupid kevan & fuz were obviously late, so i waited like one ding dong for good 10min before kevan came. Luckily the security guy came to unlock the side gate (maybe he overslept i guess) & fuz came after that so we went to run!:))) how i miss running sooooo much! crazy bird bird chiong for his 6 rounds n overlap me once :S i managed to run my 6 rounds in 13min, not bad considering i was coughing & having flu:D Fuz managed to complete his 6 rounds without stopping for the 1st time!

WHEEE.. WELL DONE FUZZY WUZZY!:))

So after that, kevan left & it was left with fuz & i..till the soccer guys came for training :X urghh.. i thought i could have the whole track to myself :( & yea, i did the running drills, 5x3 20m lunges, & some striding before i did 3 x 40 jack knives. LOL.. i was forcing fuz to do push ups, crunches while waiting for me :D Fuz & i sat to watch the guys train.. SIgh, how i miss team sports! All those killer cedar/pri sch coach trainings I've had, I miss them real badly. Sad sad, sometimes i question if i made the right choice in stopping track :(

Met up with soya at atrium after that to study my chem & told her abt the mysterious black shirt senior hotttie who came back for soccer! WOOHOO.. ok, training wasnt soo bad cos i get to see eyecandies :P lol. We managed to sustain till 2pm where i joined bora, fuz,sandeep,nani,pantat & jj @ kfc to discuss mmm (ok,i was there having fun with fuz, jj & bora laughing out arse off abt..nothing? lol) we stayed till 7pm bitching abt SC & the issues & buggers that are linked to it. hoho, fun bitching session :D i like!

bora said that he thought i was a girl with attitude during Council Training Camp cos i was the blunt one in mentioning all our weaknesses -__-" & Sherman had the impression i was bossy :(, lol, but he justified after he talked to me on the 2nd day, he didn't think that way. YAY!:))

that's about it. Im sooo tired I wanna go nap before reading up my chemistry for wed's test. & hey, i'll be back to my crazy schedule, i'll be starting my duty again as House Liaison to interview OGLs! WHee.. fun to interview, but hard to collate :( all the best to all the 5 house liaisons!:))

2008-01-12T01:37:00.000+08:00

It's already the 2nd week of school! Yes, S-C-H-O-O-L! that word that seem so strange yet so familiar. I have survived the sufferings of school for this week! WHEE! haha, as usual, life can never be normal for me :S and i had a few embarrassing moments that already become a part of my 08 momento.

Mon:

I went to school as per normal, skeptical & worried shit cos i did not complete all of my holiday homework! I was supposed to meet Shane-partner in crime II (P.I.C II) & Tan Yong Wen @ 6.45am to have peer to peer reference for our tutorials ;) ,but as mentioned, i was SUPPOSED to, and being the loser that i am, i was the earliest! :( PIC II came ard 6.50am & tyw came @7.10am, that moron >_<>

so lessons were rather boring & i was soo not looking forward to econs tutorial cos it's no longer naresh :( & she's fierce & sarcastic. yea, i think she kinda recognise me as a student leader in school(cos i purposely unpin my sc badge for fear of being picked on) & she had a nice surprise for us! AD- AS module test! well done~ i didn't even find my notes much less read it during the holidays. haha, so yay! 0-econs consolidation exercise.

Tues:

Couldn't wake up for school cos i was really sick from being caught in the rain too many times. Got dragged to the doctors' with my aunt, and left with no option. So i stayed home e whole day to rest, ( n darn i had a plastic bag full of medicine to keep me drugged)

Wed:

I slept from 4pm-7.30am the next day,without even studying for chem! So i decided to go to sch to just try my luck and sit for the test! & sc had aar & house liaison stuff so i didn't want to be so bad to leave kevan & jan on their own during sc briefing. so i rushed out of the house feeling groggy & all & reached school @ 8.45am! (super duper late mann!) and i thought everyone was on time cos the whole school was deserted. So luckily jerome took the same bus as me & we TRIED to sneak into school but luck wasn't on our side & lai lai was waiting in front of GO & screamed @ us to report to LT 1. Shucks, i was praying no one to be in the LT but whooaaa.. the LT was filled with soo many j2s who were also late!

LOL...bloody embarrassing mann. All the familiar faces of House comm, OGLs + some ccas leaders were also there. (ok, like that made me feel any better being the only SC there)Lucky for me, i had the meridian jacket to cover my badge.but sadly, it was rather prominent jacket :X so i was rather outstanding looking + it didnt help that i was the latest batch of people to reach school. HOHO..n i thought no one recognised me as an sc, but i got suaned for it by jeremy & kevan during hse comm + Sc meeting in the afternoon. lol,they thought i was there to mark the attendance of late comers! so yea, that was rather embarrassing :S & yea, i wasn't very happy over some drastic changes made to orientation II but well..come what may.lol

thurs:

Went to buy Ms Ng Yoke Leng's farewell gift with Nani & Shu Hui & we bought her a set of necklace & earrings!:)) LOL,it was fun going out with them both, with classic moments happenning. Shu Hui's toe just had to cramp up while she was queueing up at the cashier's n had to hobble lie an idiot to pay up. Nani & I didnt help much by laughing at the random & funny situation & walked away from her to make her hobble her way back to get our gift.lol, sorry babe :D

fri:

Ended school @ 12.15! woohoo, i think school has been rather bad for me cos I missed out from lecture during the O1 period & also Tuesday for my MC :S so i kinda zonk out during some lectures being a lost soul . & it didnt help that my medicine has drowsy effects :( Had a funny & soo not fruitful meeting with dance finale ppl,lessonlearnt: do not put all PA people in one comm! doesn't work well! hhaha..Mars,Shu Hui, Hao Yan, Jun Kai & i kept b-ing each other & end up laughing our arses off & digressing a lot :S

We continued to do up the Events board & mar & i left @ 6pm cos i had to go Tap meting & mar had her 1st day of tuition! LOL. 1st time i was early for tap meeting cos jasmine called me to gather manpower to fight war for the 1st meeting cos of some bitchy attitude there. LOL, so she thought i was a suitable candidate to be there -__________-"

we had a very nice,long discussion abt the challenges the new team now faced to meet the objectives of CDC & all. I was, as usual, tempted to join back the team, but i know time doesnt permit to commit as i have sc + pre-u sem to keep myself occupied with. :( but yea, some of us will be staying as advisors to the new team so i'll most probably come back to help them here & there:) I miss tapestry team & all the meetings that we had! :(

2008-01-07T01:09:00.000+08:00

HOho, i just realised i had to submit the personality test to hazel in the midst of doing econs. -_-" this is hilarious

The Portait of the Teacher (ENFJ)
The Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.
Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.
The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.
Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Idealists.
A full description of the Teacher and the Idealists is in People Patterns or Please Understand Me II
Love and Teachers

2007-12-25T00:56:00.000+08:00

Hoho, some pics that we took from k-boxing yesterday! :)) too bad the quality isnt very good.. hoho i spent x'mas eve nicely...haha, i went sch & then stoned at home e whole day. surprise surprise! LOL.. i overslept and met my girlfriends 1 hr plus late. sorry babes, i couldn't wake up to my own alarm! haha we were supposed to meet up & arrange our study schedule for next year, and this gundu soya thought i had 1st hand information of our sch timetable. LOL, i was referring to a calender! We came to a conclusion to studying every monday,tuesday & thursday in school! hahah.. that conclusion was made in wat? 5min? LOL. & we caught up with each other, stupid ppl trying to make fun of my malay n all..urghh.. hey at least i can count on my writtten language. (i think)

SO after that i decided to be a good girl & went home. Told my sis & made a pact to stay home for the day (stupid mistake on my part) haha..she pangseh me to go out with her bf. so i decided to take a loong nap & when i woke up, there wasn't a soul at home! :((

& so all ,my friends were either busy with xmas, had appointments or can't go out of the house late. Sigh.. so i stayed home,chatted to fuz & we played online games, LOL; we were in losers' club for a while. I had a brilliant idea to meet my sis @ marina since she was there.. n she returned a stupid sms : you're not staying true to your word:P i want to go home,otw home.

darn! so xmas eve was rather stagnant this year..but who cares I dont even celebrate xmas in the first place, other than times where friends invite me for parties & all.. so yea,i hope i can go out tmr with some friends to chill out...

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE!

Me, Jas, Rasul

Getting high & crazy

ok, rasul just had to spoil the nice pic

2007-12-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

wheee.. another late night out...got home not too long ago, came back from another gathering;this time with tapestry team '07! haha, or rather a small no. of them. i slept from 7am to 12pm! haha, i didnt wake up in time to give pic II a wake up call, sorry partner! :(

and so i was in a lazy mood to even go out & wanted to sleep in, but buggers jas & rasul kept sms-ing! finally kept my butt outta e hse @ 4pm to meet jas, but that idiot was late(as usual) & i didn't have anything to wear cos most of my clothes was over @ my aunts' & so i decided to go beachwear & wore some casual dress n fli flops, haha,like i said, i wasnt in the mood to go out.

ended up meeting rasul, hl & sheq @ ljs macdonalds' house & ate my 1st meal for the day! haha, i had some burnt chicken for b'fast/lunch/dinner, how nice :S hl was really giving some classic comments while eating...

hl: eh, let's go pulau ubin @ go cycling before sch reopens!
jas,sheq & i: *STARES*
hl: watt???
sheq: if you realise,we're starting sch soon!
hl:aiyahh...
me:but we can always go east coast then go night-cycling!
hl: oh ya oh ya! *excited over it*....... but night cycling must be at night ehhh
everyone : -____________-"

imagine a double degreee, smu /deans' list student says this. lol, think her brain was leftr behind @ home.

after sheq & hl left, jas,rasul & i went to k-box! WHOOOO~ haha.. havent done that in a looong time.. stupid rasul was hogging the mic & jas & i were pissed he kept singing his songs! hahah, so we decided to distract him by singing into the other mic with random songs! lol. n because of him, we didn't get to sing our last song! :( :( so when it automatically off, we threw e pillows @ him an decided to ignore rasul @ turned on songs on our fone & sang into the mic. LOL, crazy us! but yea.. i had fun walking ard town after that.. but got tired cos if the lack of sleep. & k-box should consider having screamo songs or at least rock songs! haha, that way,i'd come & sing all my rock songs!:D

happy xmas in advance ppl!

2007-12-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

Teardrops on my Guitar

Drew looks at me,

I fake a smile so he won't see

That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about

And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny

That I can't even see anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,

I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes, so perfectly,

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light

I'll put his picture down and maybe

Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

He's the time taken up, but there's never enough

And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see

what a meaningful song... this is for you, you clueless idiot :)

-the feelings just came & caught me offguard

2007-12-23T14:12:00.000+08:00

my weekends are boringg.. so friggin boring. haha i spent yesterday doing some math & stayed up till 7am editing the ogl handbook. haha, luckily before that i have a 2hr nap from 10pm-12am, if not i think i wold have drooled at the laptop by then. LOL, imagine i had to squeeze 70+ pages to 32pages, crazy or sth? i shd just tell mot,: hey maybe you shd do it & show me, without cutting the contents of the handbook! Ahh.. sucker.

at 6.58am i finally did up the handbook & managed to squeeze it to 51 pages! *gives a pat on my back* lol, & i was supposed to give PIC II a wake up call & ended up waking at 10am! opps.. sorry partner :( haha i went to lalaland till12pm & here i am, with stupid jas bugging me to get moving & changed to meet e other tapestry team peeps & go minds' cafe or k-box. lol..im in a lazy mood to even go out! totally not in the festive season mood... plus, not as though i have someone special to celebrate it with..and im broke till i get my pay! :( sad sad life..

im deciding whether to go the e house party jan suggested.. quite ex plus i dont even know e organiser! if my girlfriends are game & i'll be done with revision by then, i might go for the party.. haha a final chance to partayy before school starts!sheesh.. im dreading school. i mean i can't wait to see all my classmates & sc & all, but then homework part doesn't seem soo appealling. hoho

2007-12-21T19:31:00.000+08:00

omg.. i totally just did a very stupid thing. Urghh.. malina is a dumbo. (maybe i hang out too much with jas the bimbo :P)

Ok, so as mentioned, today was the last day of work for me! & i was soooo excited to get on home, I forgot to return the office keys to FCC! -______-" super no brain mann...

ok frankly, i was done with all my work by 5.30pm, & couldn't wait to chiong out of e office cos i wanted to avoid the weirdo @ work, who's like superdisgusting & thinks he can impress me or sth. GOSH.. being nice can be a bad thg i guess :S Ok anyway, i wanted to rush out of work so that i wont have to take the same bus as the weirdo & hear him talk away otw home...

Haha, so when the clock striked 6pm I quickly said farewell to my boss & went to FCC to give some admin documents. GUESS who i saw? OMG, luck wasnt on my side & that chi ko pek was there! ( OK, im thankful he wasn't alone cos i cant imagine what he might have done *shivers*) He was with uncle richard & mr charming :)) (who's my EC batisah's good friend)

& beforehand, I had a funny conversation with mr charming how weird the CKP was & all & mr charming was the one who kept saying the guy is mental & all. Anyway, I can clearly rmb the conversation i had with the 3 men.

me: Ok, here are e admin documents. I'll be off now :) nice to meet all of you. BBYE!
CKP: wahhh.. someone go home so fast? Wait for me la!
me: (like i want to) eerrr.. no la.. im going out with.. friends..going different way
CKP:Wahh.. got pay already go enjoy la..
mr charming: haha, sounds like someone wants to tag along
CKP:GIVE trademark CKP SMILE & give that mat lipsmack sound

me: *freak out frozen smile* *STAres at mr charming who has become a stupid bastard* errrr.. ok la, i really gtg nice to meet yall! * stares @ mr charming bastard & give WTF look*

OMG. thats e reason I forgot to return to them the OFFICE KEYS!my stupidity..urghh.. Thaank goodness for my nice, old chap,boss I was saved & he came to my hse area to get the keys from me. THANKS MR SOH! :)

ok i came up with a stupid song of my stupidity while waiting for my boss to come. LOL, inspired by the song " SOmeday we'll know!" by Mandy MOore & JOn Foreman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jujqj8LNchQ haha here's e link for the song.

Put the key in my pocket
Tried to run from the chi ko pek
my stupidity left others laughing
made SOh come to woodbridge..

yea.. yea..
someday we'll know..
why malina's a dumbo
Everyone knows
it's as good as a bimbo
someday we'll know..
why i'm not attracted to you (TO CKP)

yea yea yea..

LMAO, i think i went nuts having seen two weirdos at work..oh Yes, there's an addition to the family, the guy's called samy :S HAHA, he's one smelly & fussy ass. URgghh. & I met another weirdo after passing the keys to ah soh.(LOL) i was busy smsing my dear famous five (pri sch mates) when this dark, old man with bad hair day approached me & said " APE KHABAR DEK?" (translation: how are you,little girl?) WTF? i was so freaked out I swear I would swing my umbrella if he dared do anythg bold. Shhesh.. not only do i have to tolerate weirdos at work, my house area is just as bad, having mad ppl from woodbridge here. haha, i complained to my daddy & he was soo protective & typical of him, asked " is he still downstairs? if he is ill go down & whack him! give him a lesson!" wtf? men will always be men, barbaric, no matter how good the intention is...

OK! I gtg now, going for supper with my famous five! woohooo.. haha i'll be home late after sooo loong :D whee..back to my freedom!

2007-12-20T02:51:00.000+08:00

work has been rather interesting and improved.. i still have very little work but now, we have BROADBAND! whee.... means i can go online while working! too bad it lasts till fri only :(

anyway, i've been meeting jas for lunch nearly everyday, making us akin to lesbian partners! LOL. well.. jsut that i just need some young people's company & jas says that shes meeting me to protect me from the buaya uncles at work! hohoho,rite, she claims my workplace is more unsafe than hers,i'm sure -_-"

& remember i mentioned my batisah crush? OMG. i had breakfast date with him todae!:))
*see stars* LOL,i'd say it was a bold move on my part to drop hints for b'fast. hehe, ok la, i asked my supervisor if he wanted to go bfast (asked in front of batisah though!) but he was busy. So batisah join the convo & said he was going @ 10am. (Woohoo!)haha, so we decided to meet at the cafe. haha,i guess he's really interesting, he has a tongue & eyebrow piercing, both of which he did himself! Disgusting but cool shiet! he claims its cheap thrill >_< yea, but then, my happiness was short-lived, and i didn't even exchange no. with him. The bummer was when i found out he was working night shift on fri, means I dont get to see him or say goodbye! heart breaks *PPPIANGG!*

haha, how sad, but the good thing was i managed to avoid taking the same bus as my weird colleague who looks rather chih-ko-pek!! saved by my boss(indirectly)

shucks, its getting too late & im feeling sleepy already..will update again...

i love it when you call,
but you never call at all

im missing you

2007-12-17T20:57:00.000+08:00

Did i mention i'm currently working part-time? hohoho. i think its one of the best odd jobs i've done for my vacation!ohh part of my jobscope is to...

1) Get the newspapers
2)change air -con temp. timing
3)make calls to companies
4)fax documents
5)FEED FISH!
6)check email (using dial-up connection! hoho, authentic aye?)
7)pretend to act busy
8) play solitaire to look like im doing sth
9)draw sketches on the notepad
10) did i mention occupy myself by acting busy?haha how cool is that?

& i've got myself a bunch of funny ,outstanding individuals with really different characters. ;)
my boss nvr fail to amuse me,(ok it can lead to annoyance sometimes)
the uncles there are real jokers
ermm.. not many ladies there, only 3 other but they're not in same dept so basically, i'm the rose among the thorns (old ones i must say cos they're min. 20+ to 50+)
i'm treated like the baby cos im the youngest n im a girl :D
but ohh boy, the guys there can be a bit buaya, soo eekks.

my boss looks like he wears a wig, jas is suggesting i pull it 'accidentally' before i bid goodbye on fri. haha, still considering :D

there's a cute guy working at my workplace, looks like batisah from side view! ohhh...my motivation for work.LOL

ok, im getting sleepy... shall update another time. MERRY XMAS (in case i dont update before that)

I was really bored...

Some decorative thingy of my colleague

While waiting for 6pm to pass i decided to sketch..

ok, i don't exactly have the gifted talent but heck? it passes time rather quickly:))

I shall use Paint tmr! haha, dont waste paper:D

back to try to do e-learning. j. sue is making me laugh with her BEOwulf for econs.haha.. but she's slowly making me ZZZZZzzzzzzzz...

Merry X'mas!

-that unexpected feelings came suddenly & caught me offguard

2007-12-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

im so confused confused confused.

you've been playing in my mind e whole time...

2007-12-07T02:03:00.001+08:00

i just came back from prom...

EYE OPENER..

J2s guys (specific) are hot stuff.. sheesh.. next term i got no more motivation to go to sch.lol, just hope that suddenly, out of a miracle, my cohort guys went for extreme makeover..
haha, i wish...

gosh, now i gotta get on to do the ogl handout before i go for my short holiday.. dont need to sleep, im leaving the house @ 6am n its 2am now. gosh.

ohh. my hp has officially went for retirement before i did, and the bill finally bursted. DONT sms me people! EMAIL only. thanks..

2007-12-05T00:22:00.001+08:00

darn.. i think i get bullied damn easily.just now, izwan , now stupid idiotic kevan!

haha, shit , again, i like asking for it. i was soo bored so i decided to do a paint design of callisto banner (cos kevan said the design not done yet)

So i did up a design, & guesss wat that idiot did? Spread to every callisto he knew that was online! His nick was the worse: Shane's bird is very nice! (OMG..MALINA HELPED CALLISTO DESIGNED A VERY NICE BANNER!TALK TO ME IF YOU WANT SOFT COPY!)

*FAINTS*

So i tried to do damage control changed my nick to : DONT LISTEN TO KEVAN! HE DESIGNED THE BANNER!

haha, ok la, since kevan said rachel's gonna put it on her blog & he's gonna put it on the board, i might as well be proud of my masterpiece! LOL, not bad ehh, they're using it as their DP. Cool ehh ;)

LOL, i drew another paint document! haha specially for KEVAN! COs if he really put it on the noticeboard, He will die a horrible death the next time he sees me! haha, i name my 2nd portrait " KEvan Dies." How appropriate.:)

ok , so much for fun ...i gtg sleep, dont have to go sch! but i got to do my workplace to sign some stuff. tsk.

2007-12-04T22:32:00.001+08:00

i realise i can be rather gullible... king scorpion strikes again, i got tricked by stupid izwan on msn. URGH.

stupid izwan had a cool,red hot car on his dp & i commented it was hot stuff & he said he just bought & i immediately believed him * yes, i think my brain was left behind at East Coast* read the convo & you know why sometimes i can be a real dumbo.

Slim Izziee! says:
wanna ride?
Slim Izziee! says:
then u gotta put on ur seat belt
Slim Izziee! says:
cause it can go up to 300km/h
malina +nanabanana+ says:
course i want a ride
malina +nanabanana+ says:
haha
Slim Izziee! says:
0-100 km/h in jus 4 sec!
malina +nanabanana+ says:
ohh
malina +nanabanana+ says:
lol..i wanna ride ur car
Slim Izziee! says:
ehs u wanna ride mus give me 50 cent or a dollar
malina +nanabanana+ says:
ohh cool..y 50cent or $1?
Slim Izziee! says:
LOLLL
Slim Izziee! says:
cause i bought this car on speed legend
malina +nanabanana+ says:
huh
malina +nanabanana+ says:
ehhh
malina +nanabanana+ says:
sucker
Slim Izziee! says:
wad?
malina +nanabanana+ says:
r u tricking me
Slim Izziee! says:
then if u wanna ride cannnnnn
Slim Izziee! says:
go arcade
Slim Izziee! says:
HAHAHAHA

DANG! Kena bully Episode 1

2007-12-04T00:50:00.001+08:00

omg im really really bored.. i blog hopped my girlfriends' blogs. Gosh, zah & soya sound so depressed, rah sounds like she's getting some fun, n i , somehow getting fun here n there. i missed them all & can't wait to meet them, but they're all busy with their lives and me, my own as well.. :( I hope my girlfriends wont be so depressed as it saddens me to think sth is bothering them. anyway, back to happy thought!

Im in this happy go lucky mood..i've got a loong list of things i'd like to buy/ have for christmas *HINTS!* :D

Malina's list of I wants..

1) Cool Shades
2) 5 new tops (those i saw at bugis!)
3) 5 new Jeans/ pants
4) that turqoise watch!
5) Lots of money to shop
6) Strike lottery @ win 1 million
7) Get a Pedicure treatment & feet massage
8) Manicure looks good too (jiayi helping me paint my nails before i got to m'sia!)
9) New wallet (mine's old n tattered)
10) Foundation & powder made from natural nutrients (read it off the paper that its for people with sensitive skin like me!)
11) sexy heels ! (ok,ive got them, but maybe sth with less height)
12) Free Lose-weight sessions with Expressions (to lose 5kg)
13) Facial treatment (to clear my pimples)
14) New sports shoes & spike shoes
15) Pluck eyebrows
16) Did i mention Lots of MOney!
17) Smart brains so that i can ace A levels
18) Enroll in Bike lessons so that i can get that dream Racer Bike!
19) get sponsored for the bike lessons
20) A nice,sporty,exciting boyfriend that can play sports as well as play drums/guitar/ dance hip hop/bboy
21) enroll in dance lessons (hip hop then contem!)
22) oh, if i get no. 20) i'd enroll in salsa with my dream bf!
23) did i mention iwanna enroll in inline skating lessons
24)wait.., that way i'd needs SKATES! i want K2 skates! woohoo!
25)ok, i want 1 million dollars lottery!

gosh..im really that bored... anyone who chance upon my blog might want to do a good deed & decrease my list of "I wants" :)) I dont mind getting it by end of the year.lol.. tata for now, i have campfire meeting @ 9am. *sighs* reality check.

2007-12-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

I just came back from meeting my fiance,jas @ bugis! OH boy, i went shopping! Whee,i bought 3 pairs of ear studs (still isnt enough for my 8earholes :X but well,i had to prioritise)+ new white comfy flip flops + a green dress!:D ok, id hve splurge more if i had brought more money. Lucky i was forward-looking ;) so i only put $30 in my purse. & to think my original plan was to look for Shades cos i am going to m'sia this fri for a short holiday.

Anyway, I ate Chicken Mushroom Noddles @ the coffee shop before going on my mission to shop with Jas. Yummy! Js & i gossiped abt the Bitch CLub "A" Class (not of their status, more of the lvl of bitchyness) of MJC. LOL, not bad, mjc has interesting people! hehe, rjc not much happening la.:P We went shopping till 9pm & went to Starbucks to chill, I had my Caramel Frap while jas had a green tea ice latte (ewww) So we only chill for a while cos it was cold & i promised to be home early.

On our way home, we bought 1 cheese hotdog (me) + 4 keropok lekor(jas) Pasar Malam food is my weakness. Anyway, i think we both got high over our drinks & we started talking nonsense.

Warning:The following conversation has explicit connotations & may corrupt the innocent mind. Weak hearted people should leave immediately. :P

Me:*bites hotdog* Oh mann..mine's cold :(
jas: haha! mine's hot! lol.. u got cold b**Ls
me: -_-" wat? u got 4 d**ks?
jas: wat! yours is juicy n has juice coming out from it!
jas & i:Roll Over & Laugh on the Floor
me: *bites hotdog* eeeeww... its hard (referring to the hotdog)
jas: *dirty thoughts* Laughs. then how did u want it?
me: errr..i want it soft! *pause (jas started laughing again) * ehhh, no pun intended!

[here, i accidentally BEOwulf & splashed saliva on the interchange floor!lol]
me: lol, it had too much viagra on it,that's why so hard.
jas & i: *LOL*

okok, thats enough, yeap, so i got high on frap & jas, on green tea.

If you get the conversation, you've sick in the head. If not, you've got a child-like innocence, stay that way :)

2007-12-03T15:07:00.000+08:00

Oh my, many things's been occurring since camp ended. In other words, I was free from worries. Well, mostly free otehr than some aar collation etc.

I just had CIP, volunteering @ Standard Chartered. It was a cool shiet experience mann.. okok, it was quite saikang, but well, good thing i got the $20 + 20% off adidas apparals + 12hours CIP. A good deal or wat? ohh it was a hell of a rough day with siti pang seh-ing me at the last moment which equate to me being the lone ranger in my drink group.sheesh, actually it was a bad day turned into a good one, thanks to my socialising skills ;) i made new friends & didn't feel so outcasted as a lone ranger. hoho

All was good on saturday, had sc for a while then i ciao to rollerblade with nada @ pasir ris. hoho, was supposed to have more ppl joining us like nani, jk , hy & khai but all pang seh us in the end. so nada & i bladed for 2.5hrs and learning some simple things we noobs didnt know before, fruitful session! YAY!

Bad day coming right up!

It all started with stupid mariam arranging to meet me @ 10pm @ marina square macs. Oh boyy, am i nuts or wat? reporting time was 1am. ok, so i wasn't that nuts when i saw familiar faces outside macs, guess who? like the whole floorball team! LOL.. wat a coincidence, so i felt comforted that i wasn't the only nutcase there so early.. chatted with khai & ryan for a while then i went on the mission to meet mar & her friends. turned out there was miscommunication & mar was already at padang-_-" so ,lone ranger here had to walk all the way, passing by weirdos past esplanade to the padang. & there i was in an unfamiliar state again, cos apparently mar was a group leader & so she was occupied with work to do. darn it. so i chill with her, met her bf & went off to look for khai & ryan at marina.

in the end, i had bonding session with the floorball girls team,lol, how weird cos i wanted to change cca & go floorball after being stagnant & not recognised in track. haha, cos i couldnt find my way into marina & to the arcade where the dudes are. so welcoming of the girls to accept a homeless idiot like me. lol. we chill out till 12.58 and still wouldnt budge until one of the group leaders called one of the ladies, and we scurried there cos the man was so fierce on the fone.hoho, so again i was separated from the floorballers :( cos i was registered in a diff group. i was an anti social freak until khai called me n i joined him,ryan & sean (i think ,i rmb him as the guy with many names) n they told me a story abt how they 'coop' some jam & cereal from some hotel while going to shit >_< & i was prepared to not believe them cos ryan already tricked me abt how they were going to give out banananas, apples N oranges during the marathon. -_-" n i believed him.lol yep chat with them for a while more n then i was cast away to the land of anti social freaks. seriously, i was facing 2 weirdos who talked abt science & in front of me was 3 ppl who later became my best friends for the day! lol. Yeap, turned out the 3 ppl were mariam's classmates! *PHEW* so we had bonding, talking rubbish at 2-3am into the early morning, n had supper @ 3.30am! haha,lucky for me , my station was @ east coast, so damn cooling(too cold in fact, had to wear a jacket).

*Fast forward* race started ard 6am. at least i got a nap for a good 20min ,settling for the cartons of boxes as my bed, so i wasnt so cranky. Plus it was a runnning event, so it got me rather excited! my friends & i got stationed to 5 tables altogether & we were in charge of the drinks there. Stupid thing was, the water came from 500ml bottles so we had to keep opening the small bottles to refill >_< (my palm skin got rough because of it!:( ) we waited till 6.38am before a flock of sheeps, opps i mean skinny, kenyan+ india+ethiopia skinny men started running together! (ok, they were all black so i dunno where they're from) soooo exciting! I was seeing real olympic runners running! cool shit! i mean, its like a runner's dream come true. lol, another good thing abt being a volunteer is that you get to see lean, washed up 6 pack bods passing by every few seconds. *HEAVEN* there was a rare case of 1-2 good-looking guys among the hot bods & that nearly made my day. but wat was ugly was that the runners kept streaming in n grabbing (im serious) cups from my group's table! haha, i think we attracted lots of runners la, cos our b'ness was booming (if i had charged my drinks, i'd be rich!) while the other volunteers were just stoning n waiting for ppl to get their drinks. My team & i had to keep refilling, working our arses off like as though we were bartenders giving free champange. U get the picture. it was a mad rush for us 4.soon, riyan's table was flooded cos we just didnt bother abt spilling the water & it flooded & even i got wet from the flood & also the splash made by runners sprinting past our drinks stations. it was hell of a duty but well, it was a good experience n there were some really polite runners who said " thank you volunteers" like really sincerely, cos maybe they're just politely or really in need of water that badly :S

so we ended duty @ 10 +, cleaned up & reached padang ard 1+. saw zhiyong,pantat & kevan doing cip selling roses for world aids day. poor people, being under the scorching hot sun & promoting roses. Not a very good way of cip i'd say! Haha, of course,being opportunists, stupid pantat & kevan bugged me to buy the rose for $2-_-" even tapestry has more worth it merchandises. ok, so i bought it out of pity for them & not really the aids patients cos i'd reckon the money wont really go to like south africa & all.yeap , so i got a hell of an experience + $20 +20% off adidas apparrels + 12hr CIP. super worth it!:D

TJC Music Fest.29/11/07

I shall update on this as it was supposed to be another highlight event for this week. note that, SUPPOSED to be. i dragged jas & hariz along for this, thinking it'd be a gig concert cos aishy made it sound like it & butterfly was performing, so i thought i'd support e dudes. i was rather looking forward to it cos its been a while since i went to a gig(Last was Exile :X Loong ago mann) so i was dressed in a simple top, pants & slippers cos well, who bothers dressing up for a gig? i was prepared for some handcore ,nice rock,live bands. So when hariz,jas & i reached tj, it was pitched black, as though there wasnt a soul in there & it definitely didnt look like there was an event, much more a gig going on! we came late,thanks to little miss lates(jas & i) & got in time to nearly enter at the same time as the vip! haha. wait..we are the VIP :D

the concert started off with some girl singing some ballads, i was already numb, already the venue was an auditorium, i mean who have gigs in a nice aircon place where everyone got to sit @ lecture seats.. i had a bad feeling abt the concert & yes, it turned out to be some charity event. *BIG YAWN * ok, so i wasnt in my most polite behaviour,smsing ppl & yw who was complaining abt the equipment. HOHO, i dare say THING MUSIC THING WAS A HELL MUCH BETTER !:D:D dont worry my 5th SC, we did a G-R-E-A-T job at it!lol, seriously, i was only there to watch butterfly!& i found out they were the only rock show,i nearly burst in tears of boredom. so yea, butterfly didnt do as good job but the audience, we rocked! haha, ok ,i was bursting with energy so yea, all the mj ppl stood up & clapped for butterfly!:)) but i have to say the equipment given kinda suck. I mean, they were given guitar & bass amps (those used for jamming, how ridiculous) i could barely hear the guitar cos the drums drowned the whole music. Sad case, fadly's mike was too soft too. :X sad case, butterfly should be thankful that nani & i for got good equipment for that music thing auditions & That Music Thing itself. yeap, ok, i gotta say some performances were good,the njc acapella & the beatboxing by ryan & melvin. Yeap, thats abt it, finale was ermm.. retarded with everyone having to sing to High School musical "we're all in this together" -_-" how... appropriate. lol, ok, sorry if im overly critical but mayb i expected a gig to happen that's y. No offence to the organisers, i was just looking forward to let my hair down after OGL camp. hoho.

oh my , its gonna be a looong entry but i gtg get ready to meet girlfriend! opps, i mean my fiance jas!:D

2007-11-26T18:23:00.000+08:00

I SLEPT FOR 14HRS! IF not for my sc calling me up to head down to sch to do saikang & clean up the sch, I would probably sleep for 16 hrs? HOHO,i was that shagged having slept 1-2 hrs for 2 consecutive days & average 4 hours the week before that. ok, just a caution this post will be rather long.. but well im just doing a reflection of the camp.

Many things happened since the 1 week + that i havent blogged. OGL camp has just been one day over, and im having mixed feelings about how it went. Im not even sure if the sleepless nights i had & slogging my arse off were worth it but then again,im a mixed up & confused kid right now. :X

i'm not go into much details about what happened during the camp, but i guess, sometimes things just don't go your way.I'm filled with regrets now about what could have been done to prevent some of the things that happened during camp, and affected the whole camp. Many questions are going thru my mind, and the list if "what ifs" goes on and on..

I can't say if i'm happy or not with the outcome from the camp. Mayb its just that im a girl with high expectations, and thus will obviously feel disappointed when my expectations aren't met. It is also possible that the camp had many hiccups & needs much improvements.. Ill jus take it as that.

Being 1st ic of the camp was tough, especially having to run a camp for my own peers. Having to juggle among having to meet the objectives of the camp,meeting the expectations of the TAs, taking into acct of the welfare of my SC & having to consider everyones feelings was rather challenging. being sick during camp didnt help much, & having damn sexay raspy voice prevented me from wanting to do much. It was hard on my part as majority of my sc are inexperienced in running camps & therefore overwhelmed by thing. I have to give credits to my sc, because they have done their best to salvage the situation & tried adapting to the camp and all, as the challenge we faced was most trying, and yea, id rather focus on the effort put in by them rather than the outcome. Maybe we have not hoped for such an outcome, but in defense for the other 32 people who have slogged their arse off in the month of Nov,with never-ending meetings & preplanning for this camp, i thought they were rather unappreciated by the participants ,some of whom were rather rude to my family of SC. Call me biased & all, but i felt that my SC at least deserved a pat on their back for the efforts & sleep they're sacrificed, no matter what mistakes they might have committed or the people they have offended. Im rather fine with not being aknowledged as 1st ic of camp, but I most particular with the treatment given to my SC. For those who have a whole list of things to complain abt, pls, how about think about being in our shoes before shooting off your heads about every nitty gritty thing abt the camp? Im talking abt complaints here & not constructive feedback, if you have no idea whats the difference, let me elaborate.

complain: aiyoh..y got so many things during camp? bery tiring leh
Comstructive Feedback: I think the time limit for bathing is too little. Can we have an extention to the time duration?

Yea so thats the difference. One has rants worked up byh emotions while the other is more reasonable, pointing out a problem and giving suggestions. If you still dunno the diffence, enlighten me :) im open to any feedback/complaints

anyway, back to feeling unappreciated, then again,i realise thats just the part n parcel of life. I mean how many of us actually say the magic word "thank you" or at least a smile to a service brought to you? I guess the problem here lies with taking things for granted. For example, (scene @ Macs)
The macs worker goes to a table to clear the tray. We see the vacant seat n immediately run there like most kiasu SIngaporeans do. How many of us actually thought of saying a word of thank you or even a nod of thanks to these people? At least I can admit i still do. For those of us who usually don't or do it once in a blue moon, its time to do so! these people slogged off their brains clearing trays for pigs like us who cant eat properly without dripping some cheese on the table or clearing flying fries that end up on the floor. Yea, yes it is indeed their job to clear the tables, but you cant say its my SC's job to run a good camp (1st, we aren't getting paid @ all= overworked, never bloody paid. I shd complain to MOM ,haha) 2nd, it is service to the sch,yes i know, but theres a limit to everythg yea.

Anyway, enough of this topic. Another thing i felt we could have done better is our interpersonal skills. I know, we are rather weak at that area, i realised. SOmetimes , i do admit SC are in our own world, a realm of our own where no one understands, hoho,but yea, we shd be more aware of our surroundings. I think what we could have done is mix more with the OGLs & house comm. who are our peers and people we'll be working with till orientation so we need to extablish such relationships in order to work better with each other. Yeap, that ,I think we can work on. :) & yea, i know, my darling sc sometimes need to lighten up when we're at work, but i guess the stress gets us all worked up n all. I need to smile more, shucks, im all chirpy with my class n all but when im with the sc, sometimes i kinda forget la.hahha, stress-ed.

Gosh, im getting sian already & Heros is starting , so I shall keep it short. Overall, i do admit the camp did not turn out how much i intended it to be ,but all i can say is that it did allow me to grow & the experience, though some are bitter ,are learning points I can work on. I do apologise sincerely to those who attended the camp & got unhappy & disappointed over the outcome. I welcome all feedback to my email orange_Fr3ak@hotmail.com , or you can add me as well to explain any concern you have with regards to the camp :) yeap, any comments are a good way to improve on things,yeap.

Id also like to thank the following people for this camp.

1. My camp comm. , for being there for me physically & mentally & going through thick & thin togethter with me. Yi Hao, thanks for being there all the time & tolerating with me & my nonsense when im stressed. Sorry if i did irritate you n all yea? PEACE OUT! & yea, the eulogy wasn't required.WE SURVIVED!lol. Beckie, i lup lup euuu (for my sc & camp comm. ill be writing a loong letter to each & everyone of you but its rather private so i'll just say in general)
2.SC : My fellow sai kang warriors! THANKS for being ever so caring & doing a good job! No matter wat happened, we've done our best & we can improve from it yea! & thanks for willing (ok, you dnt have much of an option) to stay till 4am discussing debrief & losing your sleep. Thank you! whatever you do, always be assurred you've done your best yea! Rest well! Stay strong!:))
3. House Comm.: To the house comm, thanks for supporting us & taking the time to head down :) I hope watver misunderstandings we've had was cleared & yea, i do look forward to working the crazy bunch of you! to my callisto hse comm.: Thanks for all the valuable suggestions & feedback you gave in order to improve the camp & yea, thanks for being understanding of my double position as a house liaison & 1st camp ic. to kevan: thanks sooo much for listening to my woes & also being patient with me & my feedback. Sorry if i did put in in a tight spot at times & gave you pressure. Haha. n yea, sorry abt day 2 afternoon,haha :'( :P
4.Qi Qi,Merith,Jung yu,julian, shiqi: thanks no 4 for helping out & being participants for camp! thanks for all the advice you have given me & the support given to the no 5s! I really appreciate all your efforts in staying up late with us & going thru sc experience all over again! luv u guys!
5. TAs: thanks teachers for always being there for the SC & also cleaning up after us for all our events. Thanks for all the valuable feedback you've given us & also encouraging up when the going gets tough. to mr tan: thanks for being the ever so patient mentor who have always been guiding me from the planning of camp. I've learnt a lot under your supervision & yea, i really appreciate all the time youve set aside for the camp, and tolerating with all the mistakes ive made. thanks for everything!:D

yeap, so much for my thank you speech..shall be off for now!

The progress is the most important compared to the outcome :)

2007-11-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

Oh my.. im feeling really horrible now..my head's so light-headed (and no, it's not that its empty).. getting sick is one of the worse things to be now when OGL camp is a week to go! arghh.. wtf.
today is my free from SC day! unintentional, cos i couldn't get myself to head down to sch for pa meeting. guess that being sick may be a good time for me to resst fully. i slept like a pig, until 12++ and again from 4-6pm. Goshh,,i must be really that beat!

anyway, i went out with 2/3 of my darlingss yesterday..(it was intended to be my off day to myself but well, anythg for them mann :D) dragged myself to sch to have a short meeting with ogl camp comm. followed by meeting up with my hot babes! soya & i were stood up by zah for bloody 2 hours, the cruelty of it, we were restraining ourselves from ordering our food 1st cos we were hungry ghosts. hoho, i learnt minahh lingo while waiting for the minah lingo expert. hoho, funny how these ppl can come up with such nonsensical terms that are irrelevant to the actual meaning of the words? sigh .. the deteoration of the malay language.

e.g.
me:ehh, teach me minah lang.
soya: ohh you know, what " bukak poem is?"
me: *wtf?!* u mean they actually do such things? like battle poems?(like street battle.. excuse me for my ignorance)
soya: *laughs* it means that they want to fight
me:GOSH.. cool shiet... aku nak bukak poem *giggless like sch kids*

ohh.. talking abt minah lingo. my malay is getting worse.
zah: mane lift ahh?
me: jalan terus then u ...ermm.. pusing
zah:???
me: turn is pusing rite?
zah:*gives hopeless look* you know my aunt was talking to me and she asks if all those taking higher malay are pro.. i was like ,"no la.. i got friend's whose malay haprak(god knows how to spell it) giler.."
me: :( *SIGH*
zah: ok la, you're not the only one..i've got other friends too..

hoho.. i feel much better already

we camwhoreed after that @ seng kang cc (yes i cant believe it) i mean the background is good, lighting is great and captures our faces.RITE) went really nuts to the extent of a hair makeover looking like cacat, retards.

i cant be bothered to save the pics off soya's blog manually so here's the link! http://ayreus13.blogspot.com/
(soya shd really thank me for publicising her blog here)

i realise our eyebags are hugeeee and horrible like a teabag. i need to go treatment.

Does lipo works?

2007-11-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

Oh my.. my blog is seriously inconsistent mann...

I havnt even got time to share my rants!

Let's see, social life's been quite alrite, sc life's been farked up (tiring but i just love the ppl in it!:D) & love life's been rather dormant. hohoho.. wat a nice way to sum it all up.

oh my, i just love my class mates! we had 2 recent gatherings which Ive gone to & we camwhored like crazy,taking unglam photos( i think its one of the only things Im good at)

i think i'm gonna turn into some minah esplanade or sth. i've been going there like 3 times this week already.. I just can't stop going to that place! nice place to emo. & camwhore. gosh, can u imagine, me in those stripes top & skinnys & thick dark eyeliner. woohooo..i'll be a full pledged student of esplanade!:X MAUT!

ohh,if you wish to see the happenings in my life, take a sneak peak at my classmates' blogs who sponsored e cameras!
Jame's blog: Class outing II: http://captivated-spirit.blogspot.com/
Soyamelon's blog: Class outing I:http://ayreus13.blogspot.com/2007_10_01_archive.html

LMAO. i need a new camera & loads of cash! job offer anyone?
( i want a job with nice ppl ard, no mean managers or worse, bitchy chefs! & one that i can arrange according to my schedule, HAHA)

......or maybe i should plot my bank robbery with my partner-in-crime ,shane,who's (ironically being a criminal) earning hard-earned money wearing costumes they call office wear!

i wanna get back some excitement in my life! like do something crazy.. ear piercings are a bore.. maybe i should try naval piercing soon...(only to be done when i achieve my abs tummy)

2007-10-27T12:42:00.000+08:00

i'm updating again! woohoo.. alrite,i finally get to have a date with my fiance after sooo long. hoho

comwhoring like crazy @ esplanade :)) here are some pics :D

2007-10-22T23:43:00.000+08:00

"Yes, but I'm still mulling over what to wear. Typical me. Ah, heck, I consider grey as monochrome and I'm wearing it with my black skinnies. Dun kill me. Malina is killing herself. Everyone wants a piece of her, but I can't help being pissed with her. Hearing so little from her, and her neglecting her own commitment to Campteen[ Stupid name, but yea, its her blood and sweat what, and I hop onboard for her ok]I think she don't know what she wants. That's what I think, and I hope I'm wrong.Here I'm mulling over guys and she is breaking her neck over so many saikang, poor babe.

I missed Mal! It's like really nice to see her again! And without her, things are just different! I think I'm too attached to her, not good. hahha, funny that she asked when can we meet again! cuz I din ask since she is so busy!"

-Extracted from Jasmine, (my fiance's) blog

OMG. I guess i'm really turning into a pathetic, anti-social, no life freakoo~. aghh, my life is so effeing screwed now..i can't even have good time management now. Seriously, i can't even get a grip of my life.. everything just come in pieces & settle themselves on me. fark it la, i'm loathing my effed up cca now ( the 1st cca) why e hell did i even chose it as an option? y challange yourself until that far? stupid, now its all weighing down on you. you're supposed to join it to continue your passion, which is track. but hell no, joining it prove to be a great mistake, it became a hindrance to training & made you miss the many sessions of training. why oh why malina are you born so stupid? dunno wat else to blame it on. So greedy , you're involved in too many things that you're stretched out. it's not like you're e incredibles or sth. you can't do wonders, no shit.

now im still stuck to many commitments, whole series of orientations, campteen (yes,jas, its a effing stupid name), track,family friends.. i dunno wat comes first.. of course family, but if you keep having things to do in sch, you dont exactly have time to go out with family do you? friends- if you dont even have time for yourself, how about them? i really sorry to my fiance ;) jas, my best bud sheqal , my forkers(soya,ra,za,james), & my class for always pangseh-ing them during outings. WHY? hoho.. only we know *COUghs*

i'm slowly giving everythg up to focus on my As,i've finally decided to quit track (though i'll get bloody moody abt it & depressed) i slowly giving campteen responsibilities to amanda & ahmad mainly, & focusing on sc only(cos there, i dont have an option) so yea.. hope it all goes well.........

jas! remember our candlelight date on thurs! :D

2007-09-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

In Loving memory Mrs Serene Ng (1975-2007)

I'm finally updating my blog after a long time but sadly, it's on a sad solemn note.

This week has been a rather tough week for many friends, family & students who knew Mrs Serene Ng.

It was a reunion for many ex-cedarians from previous batches & classes to supposedly catch up with each other. However, the reunion was not on a cheerful note, it was a sad gathering to pay respects to a wife, mother & teacher , Mrs Serene Ng.

When i was first informed by Siti about the news, I was numb beyond words. I couldn't register it quite in my head yet & there I was , telling Shane "OMG, my ex-form tchr passed away" repeating it in disbelieve. When I reached gp class, i immediately called Siti who confirmed it & told me she passed away in labour. She went on to explain the cause of it, which was the result of a small tear in her womb that lead to amniotic fluid to flow into her bloodstream & thus caused her to have lack of oxygen. Listening to her story immediate left me tearing, no matter how i tried to control it. Thoughts of regret immediately came to my head on why I didn't visit her during Teachers' Day, cos i was just too tired from council duties. Regrets on all jokes our class made about her, & how God gave me the opportunity wasted to see her cos I was supposed to liaise with her for JC Talks, but no, I chose to procrastinate. & now its all too late. No chance to catch up, not even a bid of farewell. When such situation arises, all man can do is lament about the regrets they have for not spending time with the loss they had. Talk about being grateful & taking things for granted.

This sense of loss is much greather for her husband, for he bears the responsibility to care for his children ,as a single father. In just a few hours time, she will be sent on her last journey by loved ones in the other world. May her soul rest in peace.

She was a fine form teacher of 4N '06, i have to be frank, our class wasn't exactly the easiest to handle with , neither was the chemistry between our class & her the greatest. Of course there were times where we dread seeing her for math, as we didn't quite enjoy the lessons & for some of us, never did her work & got sent out of class.(I remembered that fateful day) There were also good times when she will share her sarcastic jokes with us during CE, always giving that no-expression look. Our class nevr failed to notice her good fashion sense, commenting on her big collection of shoes , a habit for girls to talk about.

It's with deep regret I didn't get the chance to get to know her much better, for we only talked during dialogue & small chat. One thing i remembered abt her was that she was always concerned about me coping with OAC being Asst Chief,handling my PSB, track trainings & also my studies. Neverthe less, she never did discourage me from stopping or decreasing on my commitments. Instead, she gave me the belief & encouragement to excel in them,something that i treasured as i was under a lot of stress,from teachers who kept hunting me down for proposals & homework assignments. I also remembered the day she was most happy with our class, cos we bought her a crown as part our graduation day. She truly appreciated our effort & even took the effort to dress up on Graduation Ceremony just to match her crown with her top. Sigh, all that is left of now are tresured memories. My condolensces to Mr Andrew Ng & family for their huge loss, & may she rest in peace.

2007-09-11T22:46:00.000+08:00

Taufik Batisah- Usah Lepaskan

Yang Terindah terlukis dibibirmu,

Tak pernah ku lihat senyummu sebegitu,

Pudarkah sudah cinta yang ku beri,

Berwarna-warni segala yang dijanjikan ia.

Usah biar ku bersendirian,

Usah biar hatimu ditawan,

Usah biar diriku disini,S

eorang menunggu tanpa teman.
Usah lepas genggaman tanganmu,

Usah biar semua berlalu,

Usah terlupa perasaan hati,

Pertama kali kita bertemu.
Usah Lepaskan...

Tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlalu,

Ku ingin selalu bersamamu...

Usah biar ku bersendirian,

Usah hatimu ditawan,

Usah biar diriku disini,

Seorang menunggu tanpa teman.
Usah lepaskan genggaman tanganmu,

Usah biar semua berlalu,

Usah terlupa perasaan hati,

Pertama kali kita bertemu.

Ku tak peduli apa sebabnya

engkau dan dia harus bersama

mendungnya langit bila berkata

Kita perlunya masih bercinta.

Usah lepaskan...Usah lepaskan...

Yang terindah terlukis dibibirmu,

Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu sebegitu...

Currently in love with this malay song! Call me jiwang or watever but it's the rare few malay songs i LOVE & appreciate. & i just saw on tv, taufik singing that song! *melts*

haha, i dont even fancy him, just the song. I realise i have a soft spot for guys who can sing, dance or play instrument(s). hoho.

promos is just 13 days away.. wtf.. Im so screwed .. SOS needed!